


Searching Through The Pages

by lullatone



Series: Librarian AU [1]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: AU, Angst, First Dates, Fluff, Librarian AU, M/M, eddie is a single dad disaster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2019-11-05 16:54:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17922689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lullatone/pseuds/lullatone
Summary: At meet the teachers night, Eddie gets more than in bargained for with meeting Christopher's new school librarian.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi ya'll!! I uhhh wrote this very quickly cause I'm so excited for it and I already have so many ideas for how I want this to go!!!! Expect more chapters, and I hope you enjoy it!!

It’s two weeks into the school year when Eddie gets invited to  _ ‘Meet The Teachers Night!’ _ . 

He’s been to far too many in the last few years while Chris and him were trying to find a place to settle down. Thankfully with a real and permanent job in LA, they had been able to find a house and an at home aide to help them out. As much as Eddie didn’t want to go, Carla convinced him he’d be mad at himself if he didn’t.

_ “Don’t you want to see who’s teaching Christopher?” _

_ “Of course I do. I’m just sick of introducing myself and getting that look.” _

_ “What look?” _

_ “The pity look. I get it, my kid has cerebral palsy, I’m a single dad with a high risk job, and I’m a human disaster.” _

_ “Why are you so damn dramatic?” _

_ “Somebody has to be.” _

_ “Go. To. The school.” _

Carla had a way with words.

Bobby had thankfully given him the night off, which allowed him to now be standing with a large group of parents in the hallway of his son’s elementary school, doing his best to avoid small talk as their overly enthusiastic tour guide led them from classroom to classroom. While it was a night for all parents that had children attending, they had broken them up into groups, giving everyone in Eddie’s group a gold number three sticker to indicate he had a child in the third grade.

Eddie had worked a double the day before along with a shift that morning, and it showed. When he snuck off to the bathroom while they got shown the art rooms, he was able to get a clear look at the bags under his eyes in the mirror.

_ “Dad of the year,” _ he thought, as he washed his hands quickly and ran back out, making sure to catch up with his group.

He’s sidling back into the middle of the group as they approach a pair of large double doors, their guide waiting for the others with her hand on the knob. She smiles as they all gather round, tossing a fiery red lock of hair behind her shoulder with her free hand.

“Our next stop is the library, which was recently renovated last year with brand new computers, seating areas, and easier accessibility for all our students.” She fires off another one of her pearly white grins at Eddie, and he smiles back weakly.

He wasn’t trying to be rude, honestly. He was just eager to get out of there and be at home so he could tuck Christopher in and finish reading the next chapter of Harry Potter together.

When they file into the room, the only person in sight is a young man about Eddie’s age, leaning back against the large desk in the center of the library which Eddie presumes is for checking out books.

But why check out books when he can check out the tall drink of water that’s standing  _ next  _ to the books.

He’s tall,  _ very tall _ , with biceps that look like they’re about to bust out of his gingham button down shirt. His blonde hair is overgrown, a few stray curls hanging near his forehead. The glasses he’s wearing somehow accentuate the whole outfit, making him look like a librarian out of someones nerdy sexy fantasy.

Maybe even right out of Eddies, if he really thought about it.

Eddie tears his gaze away as the rest of the group file into the library. He tries to examine the space this time, finally noticing the bright interior, the rows of computers, the shelves upon shelves of reading material. Their guide brushes past Eddie, squeezing herself through the group of parents to the front of the room. What was her name again? Tanya, Tina, Taylor? Taylor.

She was a little too perky for Eddie’s enjoyment, but then again he was kind of a hardass.

Taylor stands next to the man, patting him on the shoulder.

“Now everyone, I’d like to introduce you all to our next  _ amazing _ staff member.”

The man pushes himself off the counter lightly, putting himself in a standing position. His smile is welcoming as he waves at the group of parents.

“Hello everyone! I’m the school librarian Evan Buckley, but the kids call me Buck. I prefer not to be called ‘Mr. Buckley’, it makes me feel old.”

That gets a chuckle out of most of the group, and that spurs him on to continue.

“While your kids are required to come here for class once a week, they’re also allowed to come if they’d like during their free periods at the end of the day. When they’re here we encourage them to explore different genres of literature, use the internet to work on projects, and have a safe and comfortable learning experience.”

Eddie had heard so many of the standard ‘learning experience’ cliche speeches in the last few years that they had been starting to make him sick. With the man in front of him however, he was enraptured. Every word coming out of his mouth sounded absolutely genuine.

Eddie glanced out of the corner of his eye, and it seemed as if the other parents felt the exact same way. Everyone glued to the librarian with the magnetic personality.

He’s sure that Mr. Buckley being insanely gorgeous didn’t hurt either.

Eddie misses the next few sentences coming from him due to his staring, but he’s thankfully able to catch the tail end of his speech.

“-and I encourage you to use this time now to explore the space and I’ll be here if you have any questions.”

Buck claps his hands together, effectively ending the talk and causing the parents to disperse around the room.

Eddie heads straight for him.

A few couples beat him there, so he lets his gaze wander around the room while he waits his turn. He spots some posters on the far wall, boasting inspirational quotes about literature, and the very classic,  _ “Knowledge is Power!” _ sentiment.

When the women in front of him steps out of the way and heads over to the computers, it’s finally his turn.

Eddie takes a deep breath, doing his best to turn on the ole ‘Diaz’ charm.

“Hi. I’m dad’s Chris.”

Fuck.

The ‘Diaz’ charm has never existed and never will.

Buck stares back, open mouthed, trying to decipher what was just said to him.

“Uhm...I’m sorry I-”

Eddie holds up his hand, chuckling breathlessly.

“No, I’m sorry. It’s been a long day and I’d like to try that again.” Buck’s lip curls into a small grin, and nods for him to continue. “I’m Christopher Diaz’s father.”

The way Buck’s eye’s light up when Eddie mentions Christopher is like seeing the stars appear in the sky.

“Oh I know Christopher! He’s amazing. We’ve only been in school for two weeks and he’s been back here almost every day.”

“Really?”

“For sure. He’s got a real desire to learn.”

Eddie notices a red mark peeking out from behind Buck’s glasses, but can’t seem to make anything of what it could be. It’s somehow making him even more attractive which Eddie didn’t think was possible.

“So uh, how long have you been doing this?”

Eddie’s sure he sounds like every other over protective parent, wanting to know every teachers credentials and their life history to make sure they can be around his son. And while he most certainly  _ is  _ that parent, he also wants to know more about Buck.

“This is my 4th year here. I was working out in Pennsylvania in Hershey for a while and then moved out here.”

“How did you end up here? I mean, Pennsylvania and Cali are a long ways away from each other.”

“Well my sister and her husband are both teachers here, and they suggested I apply for the position when it opened up. You probably met my brother in law on your tour today, he teaches 3rd grade math.”

Eddie tries his best to recall everyone's face. The last hour of meeting teachers and staff had felt like a blur. He faintly remembers a name plate on a desk in a room full of equations and protractors, ‘ _ Howie Han’. _ Must be him.

Eddie nods.

“Yeah, I suppose I did.”

“So what do you do, Mr. Diaz?”

Eddie had never been particularly infatuated with his last name, but he could probably spend the rest of his life listening to Buck say it.

“I’m a firefighter. For the LAFD.”

Eddie mentally smacks himself. Of course it’s for the LAFD, it’s not like they live in the greater Los Angeles area or anything. Thankfully, Buck just nods approvingly. 

“That’s incredible! Tough job I’m sure, but it’s good to know we’ve got guys like you looking out for us.”

As Buck says, “ _ guys like you” _ , Eddie swears that his eyes flick up and down his body, giving him a quick once over. It’s hard to tell behind the thick glasses.

“Well, it’s all just part of the job.”

“We do have quite a few opportunities for parents to come in and talk about their careers, I’m sure Christopher would love to bring you and Mrs. Diaz.”

Eddie goes stiff. This is always the awkward part. It happens every time he meets anyone new. It’s gotten easier since he’s taken off the ring, but people always ask anyway.

“Oh. His mother isn’t in the picture.”

Buck’s expression doesn’t change, except a flicker of something behind his eyes.

“I’m sorry to hear that. I didn’t mean to imply anything.”

“It’s alright.”

The parents start to congregate back over to the library doors as their guide beckons them over with a steady hand. On to the next part of the tour.

Buck sticks out his hand for Eddie to shake.

“It was wonderful to meet you Mr. Diaz.”

Eddie grabs his hand, returning the gesture. Buck’s hands are strong and warm.

“Please, call me Eddie.”

Eddie would like to stroke his ego a little bit and say that Buck blushes when he says that, but he doesn’t know if he should give himself that much credit.

“Alright. Eddie. Hope to hear from you soon.”

When Buck let’s go, Eddie is admittedly disappointed by the lack of pressure and warmth that’s no longer on his hand. It seems that all good things must end eventually.

He wanders back over towards the doors, shooting a glance over his shoulder back at Buck.

Buck waves softly, using his other hand to run his hand through his hair to smooth it down. It’s a simple gesture that makes Eddie’s heart flutter.

Great. Just great. Finally settling down and finding a good school for Christopher, and now he’s got the hots for the librarian.

Smooth Eddie, very smooth.

Eddie heads back outside the library with the other parents, hearing the doors thud behind him as the last of them exit. Taylor begins talking again as she leads them down the hall, but he finds that he’s hardly paying attention.

Eddie didn’t really date. Sure the opportunity was presented to him a number of times, but he was too busy. Too preoccupied. Besides, he’d much rather spend his free time with Christopher than with someone who probably wouldn’t like him anyway. Someone who would probably see his hectic life and run for the hills.

It’s been a while since he was instantly attracted to someone like he was when he saw Buck. It felt good to have a little crush. Made him feel like he wasn’t such a lost cause in the romance department.

And that was the good thing about little crushes, they were just that. Innocent little things that made his heart feel light and airy for a few minutes.

It’s not like he was ever going to see Buck again besides in school, right?

...Right?

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg, so I'm having a blast writing this I really am. So much of this comes from my experiences with my local library as a child, plus having worked at a library for about a year, which was some of the most fun I've ever had. Anyway, I hope y'all enjoy this chapter and get excited for the next one too!! Also I'm hoping Christopher's dino obsession isn't too out of place. I mean who didn't have a dino phase as a kid??

It’s three weeks later when Evan 'Buck' Buckley makes his next appearance in Eddie’s life.

“Can we go to the library?”

Eddie is making breakfast for him and Christopher on a Friday morning in October, flipping pancakes and doing his best to keep eggs from burning at the same time.

Eddie has the morning off, so he’s taking his son to school. When he finds himself with the time and energy, he enjoys making a hearty breakfast for the two of them to share. It makes the empty house feel cozy for a little while.

“The library? Which one, bud?”

“There’s one by school that we pass on our way. I want to read stuff on the weekends.”

“You already are bud. You’ve been borrowing stuff from the school library.”

He separates the scrambled eggs onto two plates, making sure Christopher has enough.

“Yeah, but Mr. Buck said that library has a better selection of dinosaur books.”

Eddie smiles. There’s been a lot of talk from his son about Buck lately. It seems that Christopher had been visiting the library every chance he’s gotten, and the two had really clicked. Christopher had always had a hard time finding a teacher that really _got_ him, so it made Eddie happy to hear that he that had recently changed. He knew how much having a mentor be there for you can make all the difference.

“Well today you’ve got school, and tomorrow I work all day. You can have Carla take you if you want?”

Eddie adds some fresh pancakes to the plates, glimpsing over his shoulder to catch his son's reaction. He isn’t too enthused.

“I want to go with _you._  It’ll be more fun! Please, can we go this weekend? Please?”

Christopher is using his puppy eyes whether he knows it or not, and it always gets him every time. Eddie carries their meals to the table, setting Christopher's down first.

“How about on Sunday, you and I go together and we _each_ get a library card? That way we can both get stuff to read, and maybe even borrow a movie.”

Christopher lights up at his father's suggestion, smiling his too wide smile. Eddie settles down in his chair next to him, giving his sons curls a ruffle with his free hand.

“Alright champ now eat your breakfast so we can get you to school on time.”

Christopher gives him a thumbs up as he uses his other hand to triumphantly stab into his pile of eggs and shove them into his mouth. He chews as he smiles at his father, which makes Eddie beam with pride.

Every little thing Christopher did on his own made Eddie proud. He was so independent. Even after the mess they had been when Shannon had left, Christopher was still smiling.

These days, that was Eddie’s main reason to smile to. He loved his job of course. And he didn’t even understand how he had survived this long without Hen and Bobby in the first place. But Christopher was his rock. His everything. He’d take him to every library in California if that’s what would make him happy. If all he needs is one to make him smile, then Christopher can count on him.

-

Christopher wakes Eddie up so bright and early on Sunday he assumes he must’ve sleep through the last 2 months and jumped right to Christmas.

“We’re going to the library today! Wake up, wake up!” Eddie groans, rolling over to both face his son and avoid the sunlight peeking in through his window. He cracks open one eye, just being able to make out the bleary image of his son.

He’s already dressed.

“Wow. You’re really ready to go, aren’t ya?”

Christopher doesn’t answer, instead pulling himself up onto the bed (with a little assistance from Eddie) and proceeds to try and wrestle him. Eddie sits up and laughs, playfully batting away the punches.

“Okay little dinosaur, I’m getting up. I can get us some food, we’ll do some stretches and get ourselves to those books.”

Christopher does his best dinosaur roar, squealing when Eddie ducks under him and scoops him up around the middle. Eddie roars back at him louder, giving it all for his best T-Rex impression. Christopher laughs as he gets swung around the room, Eddie heading for the bedroom door.

He drops him off in the living room, giving his son a soft smile.

“Alright. Let’s do this.”

“Let’s do this.”

-

The library is about 15 minutes into their normal journey to school. It’s a modest sized one level building with a sign buried in a flower bed in the front lawn. There’s only a handful of cars in the parking lot alongside Eddie’s, with a few bikes on the rack near the front.

Eddie helps Christopher out of the truck, handing him his crutches as he closes the car door. Once he’s settled in, they start the trek to the front door, passing a mother and her daughter who are leaving with a bag of books under their arm.

Eddie steps ahead of his son when they arrive at the double doors, holding an arm out to push the door open for him. He watches as Christopher goes in ahead of him, smiling as he rushes towards the front desk.

“Hi Mr. Buck!”

“Hi Christopher!”

Eddie’s head whips up at the voice, finally seeing Buck behind the library counter as he lets the glass door close behind him. He thankfully has enough brain cells left to realize to take a step forward before he lets the closing door whack him in the ass.

Buck is sorting books on the counter, four large piles in front of him that are the definition of organized chaos if Eddie’s ever seen it. He looks just as attractive as the last time Eddie saw him, maybe even more this time. Buck’s still sporting his black rimmed glasses, they’re almost identical to Chris’s except for the rimless undersides. Instead of his more professional button up, he’s wearing a t-shirt and cardigan. The cardigan is tight on his arms, once again giving Eddie an incredible view of his biceps.

Eddie wordlessly follows Christopher to the counter, the two already deep into conversation.

“I’m happy you could finally make it bud.”

“I know, I’m so glad! I can’t wait to get more books to take home.”

Buck picks up a book, flipping through its pages quickly before setting it down on one of his other piles.

“Well, I think you’re gonna find a lot of stuff here that you’ll wanna take with you.”

“That’s why my dad and I are gonna get library cards!”

Buck finally looks away from Christopher, turning his head to Eddie. He extends his empty hand over the counter to shake, and Eddie returns it.

“Nice to see you again Mr. Diaz.”

“You too, Buck. And like I said, please…”

Buck flushes, his forehead turning pink as he realizes his mistake. He pulls back his hand, resting it on the stack of books.

“Sorry, sorry! Eddie. Nice to see you, Eddie.”  

Eddie decides that Buck is even cuter while he’s blushing, and vows that make that happen again before they leave today.

Christopher tugs on the sleeve of his denim jacket, getting his attention.

“Daddy, Mr. Buck is gonna show us where the dinosaurs are.”

“Actually, I’m a little busy right now. I gotta make sure all these books are okay to go back on the shelves. But…”

Buck turns around, leaning back to grab a slip of pink paper from a bin. Eddie watches him, admiring the stretch of his back and shoulders under his cardigan.

Man, he needed to calm down.

Buck plucks a pen from the cup next to the computer, writing a few numbers on the slip before handing it to Christopher.

“The numbers and letters work just like they do at school.” He points to his right, showing them the door that leads to what Eddie presumes is the kids section. “These are some of the books I could remember that I think you’d like, so that should get you started.”

Christopher grabs the paper excitedly, turning up to look at Eddie.

“Can I go find the books, and you can get us our library card?”

“By yourself? I don’t know bud w-”

“If you’re nervous, we have an attendant in the kids room that keeps things in order. I’m sure she’ll be happy to help him out.”

Eddie looks down at his son who’s gazing up at him with his puppy dog eyes.  Every day Christopher got older, his desire to be more independent grew. Eddie had been having a hard time toeing the line between being a helicopter parent and knowing his sons limits.

_‘He can get books Eddie. He’s gonna be fine. You can let him out of your sight for five minutes.’_

Eddie nods his head towards the room behind him.

“Go on ahead superman. I’ll be there in a minute.”

Christopher takes off immediately, his crutches digging into the carpet as he heads on over. The older women who Eddie assumes is one of the other librarians notices him coming, opening the door for him.

Once inside, Eddie finally turns back to Buck who already has a pen and library card form in his hand. He hands it to Eddie, telling him they’ll need some basic information and that with the one sheet he’ll be able to make a card for both him and Christopher.

Eddie gets to work on the sheet, his gaze flicking back and forth from the paper to watching Buck flip through books with an almost serene quality. Like the job itself relaxes him.

Thankfully, the silence doesn’t feel awkward.

However, since Eddie can’t let a good thing go, he opens his mouth.

“So. You come here often?”

Either Buck actually finds him funny or was just surprised, because the laugh he lets loose is more like a wheeze. Thankfully for the two of them, both sections of the library where people might actually want some peace and quiet were sectioned off from the library’s entrance. The larger section of the library to Eddie’s right was behind another door and some floor to ceiling windows, showcasing the giant selection.

Eddie was grateful for the isolation so he could talk to Buck without having to worry about being shushed. Well, he would let Buck tell him to be quiet. He’d let Buck tell him to do a lot of things.

He really needed to get his thoughts in check.

Buck just continues thumbing through his book, pulling a crumpled sticky note from between its pages.

“Well, I work here on the weekends. Not full time or anything, it’s just nice to make an extra dollar or two.”

Eddie props his chin in his hand, ignoring the paper in front of him completely.

“Now how did you get into all this library stuff?”

“I kinda just, fell into it.”

“Just fell into being a librarian?”

“Well I majored in elementary education, but then decided I didn’t want to teach? But I really liked working with kids and I really like reading so I guess this was just the next step.”

“You said you came out from Pennsylvania ‘cause of your sister. How’d she end up out here?”

Buck looks a little apprehensive as he picks the next book off the pile. He’s slow to answer as he folds a creased page corner back to its original state.

“Uhm. That’s kind of personal. To her.”

Eddie feels bad that he might’ve dug too deep. He really was interested in learning more about Buck, but thinking about it now, Eddie realized how his place of work might not be the best place for that.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.”

Buck just shakes his head, waving his hand at him nonchalantly.

“I know, you’re just making conversation.”

“I’m usually much less creepy, I swear.”

“Well maybe you could try being less creepy when you text me later.”

Eddie nearly cracks the pen he’s holding right in two.

“Excuse me?”

Buck just grins, clearly enjoying the surprised looked on Eddie’s face.

“Come on. I’m not blind or dumb. I know someone flirting with me when I see it. Or at least attempting to flirt with me.”

Eddie can’t seem to find his words, so thankfully Buck takes advantage of the moment and does the same as he did before by reaching behind him and grabbing another pink slip of paper. This time, instead of writing down numbers for books, he writes his number down, holding the slip out for Eddie to take.

He takes it from Buck, letting their fingers brush as he does. That alone is enough to make Buck blush, and Eddie feels his ego rise again.

He tucks the slip into his back pocket, reminding himself to put it into his phone the second he has the chance to. He’d do it now, but that would mean taking his eyes off Buck for more than a few seconds, which he wasn’t entirely interested in doing at the moment.

Eddie then remembers the form in front of him and suddenly feels like an ass. He can’t even seem to fill out a paper for a library card with getting distracted. His gaze goes back and forth between Buck and the paper.

“I have to uh, I really should-”

Suddenly, Buck is the perfect professional again, smiling at Eddie as he starts to load books into his arms.

“You’re fine. I’ve gotta take these books back to the shelves anyway. Just put it next to the computer when you’re finished. I can give you guys your cards before you leave.”

He winks at Eddie, heading to the side of the desk and lifting up the small partition, allowing himself to leave the area behind the desk and go to the main section of the library.

Eddie watches as he disappears among the stacks, the door swinging shut softly behind him. He lets out a breathe he didn’t know he had been holding and chuckles to himself.

Who knew the library could be so exciting?

-

Almost two hours later, Eddie and Christopher leave with 5 books, 1 documentary on dinosaur fossil excavations from the DVD section, and 2 shiny new library cards.

Christopher asks Eddie if they can stop at the mall before they go home.

“For what bud?”

“I need a wallet now. For my library card. It’s very grown up.”

Eddie smiles, his chest feeling like it might burst. Thank God for this kid. He kisses him on the forehead as he buckles him into the backseat.

“Anything for you kiddo.”

-

When Eddie throws in a load of laundry that afternoon after their detour to the mall, he decides to change into sweatpants so he could wash what he wore that morning. He leaves the jeans out, since he’d only worn them twice.

On a last second whim, he throws the pants into the wash with the rest of the load, deciding that two long days of wearing them qualified them as dirty enough to be washed. It’s not until about an hour later when he’s folding the now dry clothes that he discovers the remains of the pink library slip that had once contained Buck’s phone number.

The mangled piece of paper is stuck to the inside out pants pocket, a scribbled and bleeding number _‘3’_ as the only survivor.

Eddie groans, putting his head in his hands.

The library was most definitely closed by now. Buck only worked there on weekends, which meant that Eddie wouldn’t be able to see him again until that weekend. Except Eddie was working all weekend.

He sinks to the floor, joining the pile of folded clothes and the wicker laundry basket.

“Well. This sucks.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY GUYS!!! So somehow I wrote this the day after I finished chapter 2, which will probably never happen again. But I am just so excited for everyone to read this. This gets more into Bucks life and his past, along with some appearances from chim and maddie. Thanks for loving and reading, I really appreciate it!!!

_ ‘You have 1 new friend request!’ _

_ - _

Buck’s phone buzzes as he parks his car outside of his sisters house Thursday night. Him, Maddie, and Chim had made it tradition to have dinner together at least once a week if they could all manage. Of course they saw each other throughout the week at work, but family dinner gave them all a chance to relax and properly catch up.

He puts the car in park, pulling his phone out of his pocket, typing in his password at lightning speed. It’s a Facebook notification, which is surprising since he hardly uses it. Chimney uses it to send him weird math related memes that he doesn’t quite understand, and some friends from Pennsylvania tend to message Buck from time to time. He taps the app, the screen turning blue.

_ ‘You have a friend request from Eddie Diaz!’ _

“What the fuck?”

Buck had assumed Eddie would have texted him Sunday night. When that didn’t happen, he assumed he’d hear something by _ at least  _ Tuesday. And when he didn’t, he was well...disappointed. It didn’t break his heart or anything, but he really was looking forward to flirting with someone again.

Buck had been taking a break from relationships for the last few months. Abby had changed his life, and then he let her go. It was that simple. And then it wasn't.

Hooking up with Taylor had been, well, a mistake.  At the time, she was exciting and pretty and smart and exactly what Buck needed. Or at least, what he thought he needed.

So now he was taking a break. He was working on himself and just, relaxing for a while ya know? Just because he didn’t think he was ready for a new relationship right now didn’t mean he couldn’t flirt with someone he found particularly attractive. And Eddie was  _ very _ attractive.

The dark hair, the stubble, his bone structure that look like it was carved out of fucking marble, and good God what kind of man wore a shirt that tight to a school event?

Ignoring the physical stuff entirely, he also seemed like a genuinely good guy. The way he talked about his son was incredible to watch, you could practically feel the love radiating off him. Plus he was a disaster at flirting, a hot dad, _and_ a  firefighter? It’s like Eddie Diaz had found a checklist of things Buck found attractive and was just ticking off every one.

So Buck allows himself to find it strange that the man that was flirting with him who didn’t  _ actually  _ contact him like he said he would, was now trying to friend him on  _ Facebook _ of all places. Buck had done a lot of strange and shitty things to men and women alike when he was younger, but this was just,  _ weird _ .

But at the same time, Buck knew his curiosity was going to get the better of him in the end.

He accepts the request, pocketing his phone as he opens the car door and heads outside.

-

While Buck loved his brother in law deeply and unconditionally, he was for the lack of a better term, an awful fucking cook.

He’s unfazed when he walks into his sisters house and encounters a smokey entryway and a blaring smoke detector. He follows the sounds into the kitchen, heading in the direction of the incessant beeping.

“Chim!!! How did you burn it??”

“I don’t know Mads I swear!! It’s not like I was tryin- oh good, Buck’s here. Buck will you get th-”

“Yeah, I’m on it.”

Buck grabs a chair from the kitchen table, dragging it over to the corner where the fire alarm was still beeping furiously. He hops up, unscrewing the alarm with little effort. He pops the batteries out, giving the house some peace and quiet. Maddie heads over to the sink, opening the window in front of it to air out the musty kitchen.

Chimney stands defeated in front of the open oven.

“Listen, it’s not a big deal. You’ll get it next time.”

“But I need to be able to-”

“Sush. You’ll be fine. I have total faith in you. Now let’s order a pizza because I’m sure we’re all starving.”

“Okay.”

Maddie grabs his shoulders, turning him around, sighing at the look of defeat on her husband. She places a kiss on his forehead, succeeding slightly in removing the glum look from Chim’s face.

“Love you.”

“I love you too.”

Maddie gives a triumphant grin, turning to her brother.

“Alright. Who’s calling in the order?”

-

About 40 minutes later, the pizza arrived and plated, the trio having set themselves up at the dining room table. Chim’s correcting homework in between bites of pepperoni pizza, while Maddie reads through a book report from one of her 5th grade students. Buck is scribbling away in his notebook, trying to figure out what event the library should hold for Halloween at the end of the month. He was supposed to decorate on Friday, but was less than excited for the person he would be doing it with. 

Buck sighs, nibbling on the end of his pen cap.

“Can either of you explain to me again why Taylor has to help me decorate tomorrow?” Maddie circles something in red on her paper, sparing a glance at her brother.

“Because Buck, she’s in charge of making sure the place looks good, so whether you like it or not, she’s gonna have a say in how you decorate the library. She loves showing that place off so of course she’s going to want to make sure it’s perfect.”

“Great, I can’t wait for her to bite my head off because of how my construction paper vampire bats turn out.” Chimney glances up from his papers, waggling his eyebrows at Buck across the table.

“Honestly I really think she’s looking to take a bite of something else.”

Maddie clicks her tongue, reaching over and smacking her husband on the arm.

“Ow!” Chim rubs his arm, pouting. Maddie pats his arm softly.

“Stop antagonizing and grade your times tables.”

Chimney leans in towards her, a smug grin on his face.

“Or what?” Maddie leans in as well, unable to keep a straight face. She holds in a giggle as she pokes him in the chest.

“Oh you  _ know _ what.”

Buck groans loudly, rolling his eyes.

“Can you guys like be a little less ya know, gross when I’m around? I’m begging.” Chimney laughs, kissing Maddie quickly before focusing his attention once again on his papers. Maddie does the same, but not before sticking her tongue out at her younger brother. Buck flips her off. Maddie returns the gesture with both hands and they smile.

When Maddie had married Doug, all the problems that Buck had seen when he was younger came to a head. Despite only living an hour away from each other, Buck and his parents never saw Maddie. In fact, Buck didn’t know Maddie had left Doug and ran off to LA until she had mailed him a letter his senior year of college, apologizing and explaining the situation. He remembers crying like he hadn’t in years, and doing everything he could to calm his urge to head over to Doug’s place and make him regret every laying a hand on his sister. He knew that if he did, Doug would know Maddie had contacted him and that he knew where she was. So instead, he let sleeping dogs lie and called Maddie on the phone number she had provided.

Hearing his sisters voice for the first time in almost 3 years was like coming up for air he hadn’t known he needed.

From then on, they talked every single day. They told each other everything. From getting her job at the school, to really  _ clicking _ with the very cute math teacher down the hall. Buck came out as bisexual to her on the phone. They cried together, they laughed together. They became brother and sister again.

When he told her that it felt like Pennsylvania was suffocating him, that if he didn’t get out soon he had no idea how he was going to survive, she told him she would see what she could do.

One week later he was landing in LA, meeting Maddie all over again, meeting her brand new boyfriend (who in a few short months would become her  _fiancé_ ).

_ “I’m Howie! But, everyone calls me Chimney.” _

_ “Chimney?” _

_ “Eh, it’s a long story.” _

Chimney had welcomed him with open arms, and despite Buck’s obvious misgivings, the way he saw him treat Maddie was what sold him. Buck lived with them for a few months before he was able to find a place he could afford. While he was incredibly grateful, and still is...let’s just say that earplugs were one of the first things he bought for himself while living with them.

-

With the pizza long gone, Buck’s helping Maddie look over her pile of book reports. He’s circling a spelling error when he feels his phone buzz in his pocket. He ignores it at first, electing to answer it later. But then it buzzes again. 

And again.

And then once more in quick succession.

Buck pulls the phone out of his back pocket, unlocking it and coming face to face with an alert from Facebook messenger.

_ “4 New Messages From Eddie Diaz.” _

Buck hesitates for just a moment before opening it. Not only did Eddie wait 4 days to contact him, he also friended him on Facebook and then waited almost 3 hours to day anything about it. Well, maybe he was just rusty.

He taps the notification.  

_ Eddie: “hey so i hope this isnt weird. But like, i was going to text you but i suck and left your number in my pants pocket and washed it and ruined it so i couldnt text you but i really wanted to talk to you so i found you on facebook.” _

_ Eddie: “before you ask, yes, it did take me 4 days to get the courage to do this.” _

_ Eddie: “Also your profile pic is really cute.”  _

_ Eddie: “am i allowed to say that?” _

_ "Holy shit” _ , thought Buck.  _ “He’s adorable.” _

Eddie’s profile photo looks to be on the older side. Not only does he look different, but Christopher looks much younger in it as well. Buck also notices that Eddie is definitely wearing his army uniform in the photo, silver dog tags hanging around his neck. A veteran. Well that’s something Buck didn’t know. His thumbs hover over his screen as he thinks out his response.

_ Evan: “So first of all, that’s hilarious that you washed my number and ruined it. I was kinda worried you didn’t think I was cute anymore. And yes you can say that. You’re pretty cute in your photo too.” _

As soon as Buck sends the message, the bubbles start to rise on the chat screen as Eddie pens his response.

_ Eddie: “im not sure how i couldn’t find you cute. id have to be crazy i think.” _

_ Eddie: “and thanks. i think i turned out pretty okay looking”  _

Buck chuckles at that, his fingers flying as he responds. The feeling of flirting with someone was something he always enjoyed. The way his heart pounded, the way compliments made him blush. Knowing he had the same effect on another person.

_ Evan: “You turned out GREAT looking. Very handsome, 10/10.” _

_ Eddie: “ haha, youre sweet. what are you up to?” _

_ Evan: “At my sisters, helping grade papers. You?” _

_ Eddie: “work. sitting around at the firehouse watching junk TV. i wanted to watch casino royale but got outvoted. dancing with the stars won.” _

_ Evan: “TV? Shouldn’t you be out saving cats from trees and running into burning buildings?” _

_ Eddie: “they’ll call us when they need us. until then im stuck here watching Mr. T try to do a split. ;P” _

Before Buck can check himself, he finds that he’s grinning from ear to ear. No capitalization on absolutely any words, the deadpan responses, the handmade emoji. It’s all incredibly charming and it’s making Buck fall very hard, very fast. If Eddie was this much of a joy to talk to over messages, how much fun would they have on an actual date?

-

He leaves Maddie’s about an hour later after he realizes how distracted he’s become messaging Eddie continuously back and forth. He’s no longer any help grading papers and should probably head home for a hopefully decent night's sleep.

He’s hoping into the driver's seat of his car when Eddie messages him again.

_ Eddie: “well, there goes the bell. can i message you later?” _

_ Evan: “Of course. I might be asleep but I’ll answer you tomorrow. Stay safe and go kick down some doors.” _

_ Eddie: “talk to you later Buck :)” _

The smiley face Eddie sends does too much to Buck’s heart than he’d like to admit. He sends his response, putting his phone in his pocket and pulling away from the curb, smiling much too wide.

-

Eddie's hanging up his gear when he remembers to check his phone in case Carla had messaged him. He had let her know he was going to be late getting home after the call took longer to handle than expected. When he unlocks his phone, there's no messages from Carla, but instead there's just one from Buck. He had sent it right after Eddie had left for the call. 

_ Evan: "Talk to you later. <3" _

_Evan: "Here's my phone number by the way. Again. Don't run it through the wash this time. ;)"_   


Eddie fist pumps. He honest to god fist pumps when he sees the phone number. Not making the same mistake as last time, he immediately saves it to his phone, making a new contact for Buck. 

"Alright Diaz", whispers Eddie. "2nd times the charm."

He clicks on the contact, and sends a text. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOoooo! This chapter has been a doozy. I kinda slogged through it, I've been super eager to get to the next chapter but I knew I had to put a lot of care into this one to help make the next one mean something. I actually think I'm really happy with how it came out!! As always, I'm so thankful for all the kudos and comments! Yall are so sweet and this fandom never fails to make me smile.

As expected, Buck spends most of his Friday dreading Taylor Kelly's arrival at the library. He gets there early that morning, dragging last years decorations out of the closet to see what was salvageable. He’s satisfied with the haul he ends up with. Some pumpkin string lights, a paper skeleton with working joints. All things he can work with.

Buck gets himself as organized as best as he can before he has to pack up and open the library.  He finds that texting Eddie whenever he gets the chance is his salvation from his worries about the rest of his day.

They had started a rousing game of 20 questions and he was having the time of his life reading Eddie’s answers.

_Buck: “Favorite season?”_

_Eddie: “this is LA, all 4 seasons are practically the same..”_

_Buck: “Lol, humor me? :D”_

_Eddie: “fine, spring. favorite animal?”_

_Buck: “Dogs. There’s no other correct answer.”_

_Eddie: “i like the way you think.”_

Buck tucks his phone away during his busy periods, focusing his energy on the usual crowd of students he gets on Friday’s. He had his regulars who came to pick up some material for over the weekend _(there was a 4th grader slowly making her way through every Harry Potter book),_ and crowds of kids that were looking to complete homework or projects before the weekend.

It’s the final 45 minutes of the day when a pack of 6th grade boys tear their way through the non-fiction section, looking for anything that has to do with environmental science. Buck could only assume they were looking to complete a project last minute as he watches them take stacks of books to a table in the back.

 _“Great,”_ he thinks. _“My Friday afternoon is gonna be Taylor bossing me around and an extra hour with the dewey decimal system.”_

His pity party is interrupted when someone knocks on the front of his desk. He turns, breaking into a smile as soon as he sees Christopher.

Christopher returns the gesture, giving him a lopsided smile before placing his book on the counter. Buck whistles, getting a giggle out of the boy.

“Finished already? You just took this out on Wednesday!”

“I know! My dad helped me finish reading it last night. I really liked it. And guess what else? I got a 100 on my math test.” Buck feels just as excited as Christopher, knowing they had talked a few days before about his time tables struggles. He reaches over the counter, holding out his hand. Christopher meets Buck halfway, giving him a hearty high-five.

“I’m so proud of you buddy! That’s great!”

“Mr. Han said I’m improving a lot! He gave me a gold star.” Christopher gestures to the golden sticker on his shirt.

Buck smiles, remembering Maddie had bought those for her husband when the school year started. 50 sheets of golden star stickers, all varying sizes.

It was nice to see Chimney putting them to good use.

Buck talks with Christopher for a few more minutes, hearing all about his school day. What subjects were fun, what he thought was boring, and what he wanted to read next. Christopher was funny and adorable, and an amazing kid.

And Buck just _happened_ to be flirting with his dad.

Yeah, he could admit he felt a little guilty about that.

If things with Eddie ever progressed, Buck never wanted Christopher to think that he was biased because of his father. Even before Buck met Eddie, him and Christopher had been getting along spectacularly well. Buck knew the importance of being young and having an educator that you knew was on your side. He always looked up to people like that, and now he was _finally_ able to be that person for someone. It was like a dream come true.

Christopher heads off on his own for most of his free period, returning right before the bell rings with a copy of ‘James And The Giant Peach’.

Buck nods approvingly, checking out the book for him and giving him his receipt. Christopher heads out just as the bell rings, yelling goodbye as he heads out into the already bustling hallway.

The rest of the library empties out quickly, the remaining students dumping their books into the return box as they rush out to enjoy the weekend.

When it’s finally empty, Buck lets out a long breath.

With his day over he could finally get to the part that he was dreading. He glances over at the books that needed to be reshelved, deciding they can wait. The decorations are the first thing on his mind. The sooner he gets them done, the sooner he can watch Taylor tear them down and do it herself anyway.

-

Buck and Taylor are standing side by side as she examines his handiwork. She’s dressed as prim and proper as always, red hair down in neat curls at her back. Her blouse and skirt are pressed within an inch of their fibers, not a wrinkle in sight. Buck wonders who does her dry cleaning. He hopes she tips them well.

Taylor taps her manicured nails against her chin, eyes narrowed.

“Mmm, it looks good.” Buck blinks rapidly,taken aback. He relaxes slightly.  Maybe this really wouldn’t be such a terrible afternoon.

“Thank yo-”

“But it could be much better.” Taylor walks over to the cork board on the far wall, pulling tacks off as she starts to rearrange pictures and decorations.

Buck huffs, trying his best to not glare at the back of her head.

“What’s wrong with my recommended reading board?”

“Nothing. I think every first grader should read ‘Clifford’s Halloween’. I’m just making this monstrosity look more friendly on the eyes.”

Taylor continues her massacre of the board as Buck heads over to his stack of books in the return pile, sorting them out so he can start properly reshelving them.

His phone dings on the desk next to him, the loud ping echoing throughout the library. He doesn’t have to look to know it’s a text from Eddie.

Two more arrive right after, making Taylor chuckle.

“Ooh, texting someone?” Her focus doesn’t leave the board in front of her as she switches a pumpkin and ghost cutout from their previous positions. “Did Evan Buckley throw his hat back in the ring?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“I thought you were taking a break from dating. That’s what you told me.”

“I am taking a break. Me and this guy...we aren’t dating. We’re just _talking_.”

“Isn’t that the same thing you said about us?” Buck says nothing, opting to continue sorting through his books. Taylor’s attention has left the board, and he can feel her staring him down. “And look at how that turned out.”

Buck tunnels his vision, trying his best to ignore Taylor as she makes her way over to the desk. She starts collecting supplies from around him, plucking a few pieces of tape from the dispenser.  

Taylor’s voice is full of vitriol as she steals markers from the cup next to the computer.

“Maybe this time Buck, instead of saying you want to take it slow and then jumping right to sex, you’ll actually do that.”

Buck feels himself go bright red, an all encompassing feeling of embarrassment and shame washing over him. He knows she’s right, and that’s what makes it so hard.

He fucked up, jumping into something right after Abby left. Buck was heartbroken when she left, and he went searching for parts of her in someone else. He _thought_ he had found that in Taylor.  

Sure she shared some of Abby’s qualities, her strength, her beauty, her self assuredness.

But Taylor was bitter, and conniving, and hungry for something that Buck couldn’t put his finger on. Sometimes he wondered if he fucked up on purpose. Not consciously of course, but if his brain knew the warning signs before he did and told him to get out of there, even if he looked like an asshole doing it.

Buck isn’t sure if he should disappointed or glad when Taylor doesn’t speak a word to him for the rest of the afternoon.

-

Eddie is standing in his kitchen, staring at the phone in his hand. Him and Buck had been texting on and off all day, and it had been going spectacularly well. The conversation, albeit over the phone, was incredibly easy. Eddie didn’t feel any pressure to explain anything about his situation because, well, Buck already knew the important bits. There was no surprise conversation in which Eddie has to mention he’s a single dad. It wouldn’t be the first time that’s caused someone to turn and run.

He checks the time again. It’s well after 4 o’ clock. Carla had taken Christopher to Shannon’s right after school which ended at 2:30. There’s no way Buck was still working. The last thing Eddie wanted to do was bother him while he was in the middle of something important.

But like he said, it was late, and he was probably doing nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Eddie takes a deep breath, pressing the ‘call’ button. He holds the phone up to his ear, his anxiety skyrocketing each time the ringback cycles through and plays through the phone.

On the 6th ring, Buck answers.

“Hey Eddie!”

It’s almost nothing, but it makes Eddie melt. He can’t quite pinpoint it, but something about Buck’s voice just makes him go head over heels.

“Hey Buck. What are you up to?”

“Not much. I’m glad you called actually. Today was a little, uhm, stressful.” Buck’s voice sounds a little off, but returns to its usual confident timbre after a second. “I’m just leaving school, I had to hang around a little while longer to finish up some stuff at the library.”

“Oh yeah, yeah, the decorating right? Did you make the place, uh, spooky?”

Eddie really needed to work on his conversational skills. Thankfully, Buck laughs on the other end of the line.

“Yes, it’s very spooky. It’s officially Halloween in the library.” Buck fills in Eddie a little more about his day before telling him he’s thankful for it finally being Friday, and he has the night off.

“Well, I also have the night off. If you wanted, we could hang out. Christopher is with his mother if you wanted to come over. Maybe have a drink.”

Buck is silent on the other end and it gives Eddie a mild heart attack. He can practically hear the gears turning in Buck’s head as he sighs and takes another moment before speaking.

“While I would love to do that...I don’t think I can. Because if I come over and we have a drink, I’m pretty sure we’ll end up having sex.”

Eddie takes a turn in being silent as he processes what was just said to him.

He chuckles dryly, trying his best not to sound a little offended.

“Uhm, what makes you think I’m going to sleep with you on the first date?”

“No no, it’s not you it’s just...I really like you, Eddie. And I’ve been working on myself a lot and I don’t wanna screw this up.”

There’s a sincerity in Buck’s voice that strikes Eddie right in the gut. He no longer feels offended, he just feels...concerned. Concerned that there’s a lot more going on in Buck’s head behind his sly smiles and winking eyes.

“Well, I like you too Buck.” Eddie pauses, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’d also prefer if we didn’t screw this up.” He hears Buck laugh, which he assumes is a good thing.

“If you’re free at all the rest of the weekend, I’d love to take you out. A nice restaurant or something?”

“Well I’m free Sunday afternoon. Does lunch work?”  Buck tells him that lunch definitely works, and that he’ll text him later that night when he picks out a place for them.

They talk until Buck makes it outside to his car, the two men saying their goodbyes. When the call finally disconnects, Eddie finds himself caught somewhere between disappointment and utter happiness.

Disappointed because he won’t get to see Buck tonight, but fucking elated that they’re going out on a date on Sunday.

A real date.

Holy shit, Eddie was going on a date.

He honest to god couldn’t remember the last time he’d been on one, a _proper_ one.

Eddie decides that if a boring night drinking beer by himself is what he needs to handle in order to have a few quality hours with Buck, then it’ll be well worth it.

-

The sun in shining high in the sky when Eddie meets Buck downtown for their late lunch on Sunday. The place Buck picked is sweet, a little cafe on the corner of some street that still had it’s outside chairs and tables up.

Even though it had been only slightly below 70 degrees the past few days, Eddie had found that Californians got cold _way_ too easily.

Buck is already there, fiddling with silverware on the table as he waits for his date. When he finally notices Eddie approaching, he lights up. And honestly, it’s contagious. There’s a sparkle in his eyes that makes Eddie want to do nothing more than take the glasses off his face so he can get the full effect.

Except Buck looked absolutely adorable in his glasses, so Eddie decides they can stay on for now.

Much to Eddie’s delight, they discuss everything and anything.

Buck is incredibly easy to talk to. He’s engaging, funny, and a little overeager and excitable that in a way that only adds to his charm. Eddie hopes he’s keeping up _(like he’d said, it’s been a while since his last date)_. If the way Buck looks at him while he’s listening to Eddie’s stories is any indication to how he’s doing, then the date is going just fine.

They munch on fancy sandwiches and sip iced tea while Buck tells him about growing up in Pennsylvania, stories about him and Maddie, and ridiculous moments from the library.

“I once had a parent come in and yell at me for recommending their child read ‘Charlotte’s Web’.”

“The story with the pig and the spider?”

“Yeah, she said talking animals were signs of the Devil.”

For some reason that makes Eddie laugh so hard he almost chokes on his sandwich, which makes Buck ask about the heimlich, and then in turn leads him to ask about Eddie being a firefighter.

Eddie takes another sip of iced tea, trying to get the dry taste of bread out of his mouth. “Well, what do you want to know?”

“Well first of all, I think what you do is incredible. I can’t imagine how you handle it...how _do_ you handle it?”

“It seemed like the next logical choice after being in the military. I missed having a team, people that had my back. Of course every single call doesn’t always go the way we plan, but all the people our team is able to save is what matters in the end."

“What’s your team like?”

“My captain is really something else. I think he was born to do it. And Hen...well, Hen is the wisest of all of us. They keep me sane. And coming home to Christopher at the end of the day is a gift.” Eddie scratches the back of his neck, avoiding Buck’s gaze. “Getting to talk to you hasn’t been half bad either.” Buck chuckles, rolling his eyes.

“Half bad?”

“You know what I mean.” Buck reaches his hand across the table, Eddie taking it and interlacing their fingers. It feels...good.

It’s something Eddie could get used to.

-

They’re walking hand in hand back to Eddie’s car when Eddie says he didn’t notice Buck’s car when he parked in the lot.

“I actually took the subway here from the library. There’s a station only a few blocks away.”

“Well, let me drive you back. It’s the least I can do for my date.”

Eddie watches Buck as he considers it for a moment, his eyes wandering as he thinks. Eddie’s about to tell him that he doesn’t have to agree, that he isn’t obligated in any way to take a ride from him. He doesn’t want Buck to feel pressured.

Buck just shrugs, grinning.

“Well, if you’d like to be the perfect gentleman, I’d love a ride home.”

-

Eddie’s extremely grateful for two things right now.

One of those things is the fact that since it’s Sunday and the library closes at 4, no one is out and about in the library parking lot.

The second thing he’s grateful for is the absolutely heart achingly, tender way that Buck has his arms wrapped around Eddie’s shoulder as they kiss in the backseat of his car.

Neither of them had planned it of course. It just sort of...happened. Eddie had pulled into the lot next to Bucks car, both trying to figure out how to not end their date like awkward teenagers.

Buck had turned to say something when Eddie took a leap of faith, pulling Buck in by the collar of his sweater, knocking their noses together in a hurried kiss.

The next thing Eddie knew, they had somehow made their way to the backseat, Buck on top of him, pawing at his jacket and shirt desperately trying to find some skin. Buck’s fingers are warm as they travel up and down Eddie’s sides, his own hands firmly planted on Buck’s hips to anchor him. Eddie feels lightheaded, like if Buck wasn’t in his lap we would’ve floated away as soon as they started kissing.

God, Buck was a good kisser. He was receptive and soft but _strong_ and made Eddie feel like he was electric. Every nerve felt like it was on high alert.

They’d started off with a few long minutes of kissing and touching that was mostly teeth and tongue. Now though, they were both punch drunk in the backseat, Buck’s fingers continuing to explore Eddie’s waist. There’s no urgency in it, the two men acting like they have all the time in the world.

Buck’s looking down at him, his expression loose and relaxed. Eddie brings his hand up, reaching up to the right side of Buck’s face. His thumb strokes the skin there, bumping the man’s glasses once or twice.

He brushes past the red mark near Buck’s eye, tilting his head as he examines it.

“I don’t mean to pry, but what is it? A scar?”

“No, just a birthmark.” Eddie strokes the spot this time, careful to not dislodge Buck’s glasses as he does so. He’s aware he’s staring but he finds he doesn’t care.

“Hmm. I like it. My abuela used to tell me that birthmarks like that were angel’s kisses.”

Eddie uses the hand that’s already on Buck’s face to pull him in for another kiss. Buck’s lips are soft as they melt into each other, just enjoying each others company.

Eddie’s hand is starting to creep back into Buck’s already curly mess of hair when he feels his phone buzz in his back pocket.

He sighs, pulling away and lifting his hips up slightly so he can grab his phone. The text he finds from his babysitter asking if he would be back soon makes him groan, thumping his forehead down onto Buck’s chest. He really needed to get his shit together.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just. Uh, I need to get home. Gotta relieve the babysitter.” Buck nods, leaning back and running a hand through his hair, doing his best to tame the curly haired monster that’s atop his head.

Buck is silent above him as Eddie sends a quick text back, letting her know that he would be home soon.

When Eddie looks back up, Buck has a distant look in his eyes. He grabs his hand, squeezing it tightly.

“You alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I was just hoping to have uh, more restraint.” Eddie chuckles, nuzzling his head back into Buck’s chest.

“Well here’s to restraint then,” says Eddie, his tone teasing.

Buck doesn’t laugh. In fact he goes very stiff, his hand sliding out from underneath Eddie’s. Eddie tips his head back, afraid he’s made Buck upset.

“Hey, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t tease like that.” Buck avoids him behind his glasses. “Is this about what you said on the phone? How if we met up we would have sex?”

Buck sighs, removing his glasses with his hand, pinching the bridge of his nose with the other.

“Sort of? I just...Eddie. Do you want to go on another date with me?” Eddie can’t help but grin at the almost nervous way Buck asks him that. He’d have to be an idiot to say no to that face.

“Of course. I’d love that actually.”

“Can we make a promise that this won’t happen again?” Buck gestures between the two of them and Eddie must look confused as hell since Buck stammers suddenly. “Not that this wasn’t great! ‘Cause it was! I just need us to take things slow. For me. I need to do that for myself.”

Eddie simply nods. “Whatever you need to be comfortable, I’ll do it. I don’t mind taking things slow.”

Buck flashes Eddie a million dollar smile, like he never thought Eddie would agree to that idea. He puts his glasses back on and leans down, kissing Eddie so gently it drives Eddie a little crazy.  

It’s a _spectacular_ feeling.

-

When they finally get detangled from the backseat, they say their goodbyes. Eddie thanks Buck for the lunch, telling him that next time he’ll pick the place.

“I’d really like that. I’ll text you later, okay?” Buck kisses Eddie on the cheek before heading over to his car, waving as he hops in. Eddie heads back to the drivers side of his, doing the same. He watches from the front seat as Buck pulls out of the parking lot, honking as he drives down the street.

Eddie will never tell another living soul, but he sits there in that spot for almost 10 minutes, able to think of nothing but curly hair, glasses, and a red, angels kiss birthmark.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!!! It's here!!! I almost didn't get this up in the time frame that I wanted it because I had such a weird and crazy busy weekend, but I'm so glad I was able to find the time to finish it. It's a little long but I'm very excited for you all to read it! <3 The comments and kudos and all the messages I get on Tumblr just make my heart smile! It means the world to me! 
> 
> This chapter has buddie angst,abby related angst, grocery store shenanigans, and more buckley sibling bonding.   
> This chapter also includes talking about and experiencing a panic attack, which I know may bother some people so I wanted to add a warning.

Halloween comes and goes quickly for Eddie, and along with it, 3 more dates with Buck. Technically, 3 and a half, but both of them don’t think they should count the day they saw each other at Christopher’s Halloween pageant. They spent the whole morning staring at each other from across the school gymnasium while 3rd and 4th graders sang the Addams Family theme song.

While Eddie is getting ready to take Christopher home, Buck stops over to say hi. He compliments Christopher on his costume, and how real his sideburns look.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were really Wolverine.” Christopher smiles, asking Buck what he’s dressed as. Buck pulls away the collar of his button down shirt where his tie is hanging around his neck haphazardly, revealing the Superman logo underneath.

“Superman!”

“Well, technically Clark Kent.” Buck winks at Christopher, then turns to Eddie and shrugs. “It was the easiest costume I could think of.”

“You mean the laziest, right?” Buck just rolls his eyes, bumping his elbow into Eddie’s. He says goodbye to Christopher, waving at the two before heading back off into the crowd of children and parents.

When Eddie goes grocery shopping later that weekend, he had no clue he’d be finally meeting Buck’s sister.

If he had known, he definitely wouldn't have worn his jeans with the holes in them.

Eddie’s standing in front of the produce section of Trader Joe’s on Sunday morning, trying to figure out what’s worth buying. Christopher wasn’t the pickiest of eaters, but he was also at the age where chicken nuggets were _usually_ more enticing than broccoli.

He’s tentatively grabbing a bag of salad mix when the man next to him reaches for the top rack. Eddie hadn’t noticed him before, but he does notice when the man comes a few inches away from his prize. There’s a bundle of spinach towards the top, resting just out of his reach. He sighs before stretching again, the stacks of fresh produce on the lowest shelf preventing him from being able to reach all the way.

Eddie throws the bag in his cart as the man huffs, giving up and putting his feet back flat on the ground.

“Hey uh, would you mind? I’m a little on the shorter side.”

“Yeah no problem man.” Eddie reaches up, effortlessly plucking the bag from the shelf. He turns and hands it to the man, who only looks slightly embarrassed. Eddie is sure this isn’t the first time he’s needed help in the grocery store, or any store for that matter.

The man in question is a little older than Eddie with dark messy hair. He’s wearing jeans and a flannel, and for some reason he strikes Eddie as being incredibly familiar.

The man must feel the same way about Eddie, since his eyes light up as soon as he accepts the bag of leafy greens.

“Hey, don’t I know you from somewhere? I think we’ve met before!”  Eddie rubs the back of his neck, sucking in a breath through his teeth. He was always terrible at names and faces.

“Uhhh-” The man snaps his fingers, pointing at Eddie.

“I saw you at ‘Meet the Teachers’. I teach your son right?”  It all comes back when he says it, the hurried visit through a classroom and a nameplate that Eddie could only sort of make out in his memory.

“Yeah, I think so. You’re Mr. Han, the one who Christopher keeps saying needs to give less homework.” The man laughs around the piece of gum he has in his mouth, holding out his hand to shake.

“Please, call me Howie. Christopher is a riot, he’s a really great kid.” Eddie returns the handshake, saying he hopes that Christopher isn’t disruptive during class. “Oh no no, nothing like that. He’s witty. He’s doing extremely well too, he works really hard.”

“That’s good to know. Names Eddie, by the way.” Howie smiles at him, tossing the spinach into his cart among the rest of his fruits and vegetables.

“Well Eddie, it was nice to see you, but I should be getting back to- “ Howie notices someone on the other side of Eddie. “Oh, wait here she is! Maddie hun, come here!”

Eddie feels his entire body clench up, his hand on the edge of the cart digging into the plastic. He was suddenly kicking himself for not putting two and two together and realizing who he was talking to.

Buck had talked to him about his sister and brother-in-law, but he had never seen a picture of them. He won’t beat himself up too much, especially since Eddie only knew Buck’s brother-in-law as ‘Chimney’ whose real name was apparently Howie.

_“Well, the more you know,”_ Eddie thinks, as he feels someone brush past him, who does in fact turn out to be Maddie. She tosses bread and a package of frozen salmon into the cart before turning to Eddie. He can immediately see the resemblance between her and Buck. Their silky hair, the piercing eyes. Eddie wonders if their parents were Greek Gods or something, because the Buckley’s were a good looking pair of siblings.

“Mads, this is Christopher Diaz’s father, Eddie. He did me the honor of reaching for our package of spinach.”

Maddie smiles sweetly, but Eddie can feel her eyes on him as she silently judges him between the grocery carts. While the chance that Buck had mentioned him to Howie... _Chimney_ , was low, Eddie would be incredibly surprised if Maddie didn’t know about him and Buck’s relationship.

He’s proven correct when Maddie’s smile morphs into a sly grin.

“Oh yes, Eddie. I’ve heard quite a lot about you. Well more so Christopher.”

Eddie is trying to think of a response, trying to think of absolutely anything he could say to the woman in front of him whose smile says _‘hugs and kisses’_ while her eyes are screaming, _‘if you hurt my brother they’ll never find the body’_.

Luckily for Eddie, his phone starts blasting the Jurassic Park theme song (Christopher’s choice) and he pulls it out of his back pocket.

Of _course_ it’s Buck.

Eddie hopes they can’t see the name on the screen, giving them an apologetic grin.

“It was great to meet you guys, really-” Chimney waves a hand at him, smiling wide, oblivious to the thorough evaluation of character his wife just took of Eddie.

“No problem man, we oughta get going too. And hey, remind Christopher he’s got a quiz tomorrow alright?” Chimney does finger guns in his direction, and somehow, he makes it not be the most awkward thing in the universe.

Eddie nods, sending one last wave to the couple as he grabs his cart and slinks over into the next aisle among the cereal and granola. He taps the screen, ending the onslaught of John Williams on the poor customers of Trader Joe's.

Buck’s voice is a joy as always, sending a jolt to Eddie’s heart. “Hey Eddie.”

“Hey Buck. So. You are _not_ gonna believe who I just ran into at the store.”

-

Eddie takes Buck out that Wednesday night, a restaurant with dining right next to the water.  It’s a little chillier than usual, Buck wearing a leather jacket over a long sleeved shirt. Eddie likes how it hugs his biceps, and the way the dark weathered material of the jacket contrasts against Buck’s blonde hair. Eddie thinks he looks sexy and tells him so as they wait for their food. Buck blushes behind his glasses.

“Oh come on babe.” Eddie loves it when Buck calls him that. He’d noticed he had gotten braver with his affection, more accepting of pet names.

“What, I’m serious. Like a curly haired, sexy, modern day Clark Kent.”

“You’re really never gonna get over that Halloween costume are you?”

Eddie winks, enjoying the way Buck rolls his eyes at him. “Not a chance.”

They’re spoiling themselves a little tonight, fancy seafood dinners and rich wine. Eddie wishes he could treat Buck to things like this all the time.

Honestly he thinks he might give Buck the world if he could. He knows Buck will go anywhere with him, that he doesn’t need expensive dinners or fancy dates. Truthfully, Eddie can’t wait until they’re comfortable enough to spend time at each others places, have lazy days on the couch with microwave popcorn and cold beers.

They’re digging into their dinners when Buck brings up Eddie’s grocery store encounter.

“So, I think you’ll be happy to know that you’ve been given the Maddie Buckley stamp of approval. Chimney’s too.”

“Christ, really? I was pretty sure I looked like I was gonna puke the whole time.”

“Nah. Chim described you as ‘smokin hot’. Maddie was more uh, eloquent with it.”

Eddie bites the inside of his cheek, his fingers tapping the base of his wine glass.

“Oh, well uh, what did she say about me?”

Buck smirks, Eddies anxiety obvious as he waits for the verdict.

“She said you seem sweet. And she can tell that you’ve got a good heart. How she determined this all in five seconds, don’t ask me.” Eddie relaxes slightly, already feeling a little better about Maddie’s evaluation. “She really wanted to meet you by having you over for dinner, but the produce section works too.”

“That's so nice of her, really.”

“She also agrees that you’re smokin hot. So you’ve got that going for you, _for sure_.” Eddie laughs, picking up his wine glass and tipping it in Bucks direction.

“I’ll drink to that.”

Buck agrees, meeting Eddie in the middle for a toast.

-

Eddie drives Buck back to his place, Buck’s car waiting in the driveway where he left it that afternoon before they went to dinner. Buck asks where Christopher is for the night, noticing the lack of lights on in the house.

“He’s with my Aunt Pepa for the night. She doesn’t work on Thursday’s so she offered to take him to school in the morning. When I told her I had a date she practically stole him from me.”

“I’m guessing your family doesn’t want you to be a hermit for the rest of your life, right?”

“Listen, like I said, before I met you it had been a _long_ while since my last date.”

They both laugh as Eddie parks the car, the air suddenly growing heavy. Buck can tell Eddie has something on his mind, something he’d like to ask. Eddie’s fingers tap the steering wheel as he takes a deep breath.

“So uh, would you like to come in for a drink?”

-

They tumble into Eddie’s house, a tangle of limbs as Buck slams the door shut behind them. Eddie presses him up against the door, Buck’s glasses almost getting knocked off when they meet for a heated kiss. Buck had grabbed Eddie for a kiss on the porch, and now, here they were.

Buck can’t help it when he nips at Eddie’s lip, rewarding him with a groan. Buck smiles, bumping his nose against Eddie’s lightly.

“I’m starting to think you didn’t just invite me in here for a drink.” Eddie chuckles at that, a hand sliding underneath Buck’s jacket at the waist. He can feel the warm skin underneath, and it fills him with want.

“I mean, we can still have that drink if you want,” he says breathlessly. “I’m not trying to push you Buck.”

“I know.” Buck kisses him again, slower this time, more careful. When he pulls back, Eddie looks like they’ve had that drink, maybe too many in fact. Buck is sure he looks the exact same way. “But if you don’t take me to your room right now, I really might die.”

-

It’s just like when they had been in the backseat of Eddie’s car, but a million times better. Here on Eddie’s bed, they have the room to spread out, for Buck to lie down and have Eddie worship every part of him. The jacket is long gone, Buck’s shirt pushed up above his ribs, exposing his abdomen.

When Eddie finally gets to see that much, the look on his face will probably be seared into Buck’s brain forever.

Eddie’s down to just a t-shirt as well, the thin material showing off the hard lines of Eddie’s shoulders. Buck is longing to strip it off and finally get a real view of what’s underneath.

It’s almost all too much. Eddie’s hands, his lips, the weight of his strong body on top of him. But Buck will be damned to say he wasn’t enjoying every single second of it.

Eddie must really enjoy the dreamy look in Buck’s eyes, because he laughs and plants a soft kiss on his lips. Buck’s glasses are still on, albeit slightly askew. Eddie’s propped up on his elbows, so he takes the opportunity of having his hands free to gently take the glasses off, setting them down on the free pillow next to Buck’s head.

Buck doesn’t like to admit it, but he’s been wearing glasses pretty much his whole life, and not having them on always makes him feel quite vulnerable.

Eddie doesn't say anything, instead brushing his thumb tenderly against Buck’s birthmark. It makes Buck’s gut burn bright and hot, affection coursing through him.

Eddie continues to brush the red spot next to Bucks eye. “You doing okay there?”

Buck laughs at that, taking a big breath of air he hadn’t known he needed.

“I am...fabulous.” Eddie smiles dreamily, his eyes admiring Buck’s form below him.

“Yeah, you are.” Buck snorts lightly, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

“I’m what?”

“Fabulous. Amazing.” Eddie punctuates every word with a kiss to Buck’s cheek.  “Smart. Caring. Incredible.”

When Eddie says those things, something deep inside of Buck bursts, a feeling beyond the physical. It was all at once, a deep all encompassing desire to just _be_ with Eddie.

Buck realizes, he likes Eddie.

He really _really_ likes Eddie. He hadn't felt like that with anyone since...well since Abby.

Abby. Abby who said felt the same way Buck did. Abby who made Buck feel something deep and wonderful. Abby who….left.

Buck can feel himself zoning out as his thoughts start to grow panicked and scattered. All he can think about is how it was his fault Abby left. No matter what people told him it _must_ have been his fault, he ruined it, it was his fault.

Eddie is kissing down Buck’s chest again, one hand popping the button of his jeans, and Buck’s thoughts kick into overdrive.

He’s about to ruin it with Eddie the same way he did with Abby all because he can’t keep it in his pants.

He starts to feel distant, and Eddie’s weight that was once comforting now feels like it’s crushing him, like it’s a 1000 pounds. Eddie must be able to feel the change in the air, because he removes his hand from Buck’s side.

It’s been a while since it’s happened, but Buck still knows what a panic attack feels like.

-

Eddie props himself up on his hands, watching the change in Buck’s eyes. Instead of excited and blissed out, he looks nervous, and it makes Eddie’s chest tighten. Buck’s breathing starts to speed up as Eddie sits up, moving off him to give him some space.

“What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” Buck doesn’t look at Eddie, instead darting his eyes around the room like he’s looking for the fastest way out of there.

“No, no. I just, I have to go. I’m sorry but I can’t do this.” Buck sits up and gets off the bed, toeing his shoes back on as fast as he can.

“Buck, babe, we can stop. It’s okay, w-”

“No, I, I _really_ have to leave.”

Eddie watches as Buck buttons his jeans and looks wildly around the room for his jacket. Buck’s hands look like they’re shaking as he bends down to grab it.“I uh, need my glasses, I don’t have my glasses.”

Eddie picks them up off the pillow beside him, holding them out to Buck.

“Buck, they’re right here.” He grabs them, fumbling them onto his face. “Buck, will you let me help you? I want to make sure you’re okay.”

“That’s _really_ nice, but I’ve gotta go.”

Eddie knows what’s going on, at least partially. Buck’s panicking, but about what, Eddie doesn’t know. What he does know is that Buck needs to get somewhere he can be calm.

Tears start to well up in the corners of Buck’s eyes as he slips his jacket back on.

“I’m really sorry Eddie.”

Before Eddie can say another word, Buck bolts out of the room. Eddie can’t bring himself to do anything more than sit on the bed, listening as Buck leaves the house, slamming the front door behind him.

He shouldn’t have invited him over for a drink, he should’ve listened to Buck, really _truly_ listened when he said he needed to take things slow. Eddie flops onto the bed, head hitting the pillows.

It’s the first time in years he’s found someone that he truly likes, and now he’s fucked it up.

Eddie lies there, debating if he should call or text Buck.

He finds that he just can’t bring himself to do it.

-

Buck doesn’t go home immediately after he leaves Eddie’s house. He’s too upset to drive and he knows it. He takes a walk around the block, once, twice, three times before he feels calm enough again to safely drive.

Buck cruises around for about 20 minutes in no specific direction before deciding that old habits die hard, and it wouldn’t hurt to indulge himself in his favorite pastime just this once.

_“Its self care,”_ he tells himself, as he pulls onto the freeway.

20 minutes later, Buck is sipping the largest vanilla milkshake In and Out would sell him, sulking in his car while he blasts ‘Landslide’ by Fleetwood Mac for the 10th time.

He never said it was _good_ self care, but by the time Buck’s halfway done with his milkshake, he’s feeling a little better.

While Stevie Nicks croons over his speakers, Buck watches cars pass by and thinks about what the hell he’s gonna say to Eddie the next time he sees him. If Eddie ever wants to see him again.

Buck shakes the thought out of his head. One bump in the road doesn’t make for a failed trip. Buck does regret not staying and actually just talking to Eddie, but he understands why he had to leave. He also understands that Eddie deserves an apology for the way he ran out.

Buck realizes it’s probably time for him to open up about how much him and Abby’s relationship really affected him.

He runs a hand through his hair, his curls still a tangled mess from Eddie’s roaming fingers. Buck pulls out his phone, checking to see if Maddie had responded to him. He had sent her a text earlier, asking if she was awake. Granted, it was only 9:30, but she was known to go to sleep particularly early on school nights.

He opens his messages to find that although she hadn’t responded, she had read the text, which meant she was awake. Buck takes that as a good enough sign as any, deciding that if anyone can help him get through whatever this was, it was his big sister.

-

Buck is standing outside Maddie’s house, ringing the doorbell for the 2nd time. He had waited about 20 seconds before deciding to ring it again, his impatience and desire to not be standing outside in the dark anymore winning over his impulse control.

He finds it strange that neither her or Chim hadn’t come to the door yet. Both of their cars were there, and the lights were on, so clearly they were home. Sure he knows that they had lives outside of hanging out with him, but it was a little rude to not open the door for your baby brother.

He’d have to guilt Maddie with that later.

He rings the bell again, jamming his thumb against the button and knocking on the door with his other.

“Mads! I need life advice!”

Buck continues his incessant knocking until he finally hears proof of life coming from inside the house, the sound of Maddie stomping down the stairs incredibly clear. He hears her continue to stomp until she reaches the front door, unlocking it and throwing it open. Buck is met with his sister looking not entirely pleased with him, her hand clutching her robe that she has wrapped around herself. Maddie is clearly trying to stay calm as she talks to her brother.

“Evan Buck Buckley. What. Do you. Want?”

Buck simply shrugs. Buck knew he could be a little shit sometimes, so this certainly wasn’t the first time he had seen Maddie almost comically angry with him.

“Like I said, life advice.”

“Did you have to ring my bell 20 times?”

“Well, you didn’t read my text.” Buck wedges his way past his sister, making his way into the main entrance to the house. “Also what, were you already in bed? Don’t you have papers to grade?”

“Uhh not _tonight_ , not really.” Buck turns back to her, tilting his head at her. Sure Maddie didn’t have to be chipper all the time, but her mood seemed impressively sour.

“God, okay. I didn’t know you had a bad night apparently.”

Maddie just sighs, closing the front door and locking it. She’s stern when she addresses him. Buck can tell she’s using her teacher face.

“Buck hun, I’m not trying to fight with you, I’m just-”

“No, fine. Sorry I’m such a bother.”

“Oh stop it, I didn’t say that. Now you’re just being dramatic.”

The thing is, Buck knows he’s being dramatic. It’s probably in his DNA. So while it would be easier for him to just calm down and tell his sister what’s going on, he decides to just let himself have this one. He’ll let Maddie kick his ass for it later.

“God, if I’m being so dramatic and AWFUL, I’LL JUST LEAVE!”

“JESUS CHRIST BUCK, CHIMNEY AND I ARE TRYING TO HAVE A BABY!”

Buck freezes, his mouth wide open in preparation for a statement that _certainly_ didn’t have anything to do with what his sister just said. He blinks rapidly, stuttering as he tries to collect his thoughts.

“Like….like right now?”

“ _YES_ right now! Why do you think I didn’t respond to your text? Or the first two times you rang the bell?”

Sure there’s been plenty of times Buck has felt embarrassed around his sister, he this feels like a whole other level. He feels his face get hot as he puts two and two together, Maddies stern look never wavering.

“Oh my god. It’s because you guys were having sex.”

Maddie rolls her eyes, his furrowed brow loosening slightly. “Yeah, Buck.”

“Oh my god, that means you were doing it when I knocked on the door, _oh mY GOD_ !” Buck puts his face in his hands as best as he can without knocking his hands into his glasses. “ _Oh my Godddd,_ I feel like an asshole.”

“Buck hun, how did you not notice this was going on?!”

“Was I supposed to??”

“I literally have prenatal vitamins on the bathroom counter!”

Buck fumbles for words, throwing his hands up, doing his best not to break down laughing (or crying) at the absolutely strange situation he’s found himself in with his sister.

“WHY WOULD I PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR LADY VITAMINS??” Maddie can only put her fingers to her temple, already attempting to chase away what is surely an oncoming headache.

Buck’s confused screaming must’ve finally been deemed worrisome enough for Chimneys attention, who comes bounding down the stairs, clad in a gray pair of sweatpants, and _only_ a gray pair of sweatpants. “What the hell is all the screaming about?”

“I told Buck about us trying to get pregnant.”

Buck hardly hears Maddie, as he’s focusing his attention at looking anywhere that isn’t his brother-in-laws bare chest, deciding the patterned carpet of the hallway is more interesting.

“Fuck, this is straight from my nightmares, _please_ put on a shirt.”

Chimney scoffs, throwing his hands up. “Buck, we’ve been to the beach together!”

“That does not mean I want to see you half naked, now or ever! Also, I can _definitely_ tell you aren't wearing underwear.”

Chimney says something back that Buck doesn’t quite pay attention but he does know it annoys the hell out of him, so before he knows it him and Chim are squabbling for absolutely no reason.

Maddie steps into the area between the front door and the stairs, effectively putting herself in between her husband and her brother. She holds up her hands, palms facing both of them.

_“Enough.”_

That shuts down their bickering quick.

Buck knows that tone, and so does Chimney. They’ve both heard it only once before, at the Christmas Party for faculty last year when a now retired male teacher told Maddie she should ‘smile more’ because she’d be prettier.

Maddie takes a deep breath, relishing in the silence. She closes her eyes, Buck watching her as she mentally counts to five. She lets the breath go, relaxing slightly as she opens her eyes.

“Howie. You’re going to go upstairs and put on a shirt, and then bring me some pajama pants, _please_.” Buck can’t help but giggle, sparing a glance at Chimney.

“Oooooh, she called you Howie.”

Maddie’s head turns to her brother, silencing him.

“ _Evan_ , you’re going to go sit on the couch in the living room and wait there for me while I make us some tea.” Buck nods, not risking another comment. Maddie smiles, smoothing her hair down. “Now I love you both very much. So go do what I said.”

“Yes dear.”

“Yes ma'am.”

Chimney runs back up the stairs, while Buck retreats to the living room. Maddie sighs, pulling her robe tighter as she heads off to the kitchen in search of tea that will help fix her brothers life problems.

She’s thinking chamomile, or possibly something green. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovlies!!!! Welcome back to another sappy chapter!! This is very dialogue heavy and I apologize, but everyone has A LOT to say as they sort their lives out. By the way, the next chapter after this WILL BE THE FINAL CHAPTER!!!!! I am so excited to finish this fic that I absolutely love. You guys and your support have meant the world to me!! <3 I hope you guys enjoy this bit and get excited for the big finale!

“So. A baby, huh?”

Buck and Maddie are sitting on the couch in her living room, cups of tea balanced on their laps. Maddie decided on a chamomile, adding some warm milk and cinnamon. Buck greedily sips the hot drink, enjoying the liquid as it warms his chest. Maddie’s sitting on one end of the couch, robe still wrapped tight around her. Chimney had brought her the pajama pants, as promised. He hadn’t asked Buck if he needed him to stay for advice, Chim knew this was a sibling matter.

Chim had kissed Maddie on the cheek before heading upstairs to bed, leaving the two alone.

Maddie simply nods at Buck’s question.

“Yeah. A baby. I’ve always wanted to be a mother Buck. That dream died when I married Doug, but after Chim and I got married, the chance was there again. We’ve been trying for a few months now.” Maddie puts a hand on her stomach reflexively, rubbing it back and forth. “When nothing seemed to stick, I went to the doctor and apparently I have some ‘issues’.”

Buck feels his blood course through him, white and hot as he mind flashes to Doug. “Did Doug do something to yo-”

Maddie holds up a hand, stopping him, seeing the way Buck’s hackles raised.

“No no, it’s nothing like that Buck. It’s genetic.”

Buck frowns, his bravado vanishing.

“Shouldn’t that have been something mom would tell you?” Maddie gives her brother a look, eyebrows raised as she takes a sip of her tea and Buck sighs. “You’re right. Mom didn’t tell us anything. Even when we she was speaking to us.”

Their mother had stopped talking to them each for different reasons. Even before Maddie had married Doug, their relationship had never been stable. Their father was the unlucky middle man, doing his best to keep birthdays and holidays in tact.

Between Doug’s desire to keep Maddie away from others and their mothers complete unwillingness to empathize with anyone, they had stopped talking years ago.

She had stopped speaking to Buck when he finally came out to her his freshman year of college. Their father was supportive, told Buck that whoever he wanted to love was his business, and that he would be there for him.

Buck and Maddie’s mother didn’t have the same reaction.

So it’s not far fetched now that Buck is really thinking on it that she would never reveal to a young Maddie that woman in their family had a history of fertility issues, that Maddie trying to get pregnant would most certainly take a lot of time.

Buck takes another large gulp of tea before setting the mug on the coffee table. “So what are you guys doing about it?”

“We’ve been doing what we can naturally to start. Vitamins, certain foods that can help boost my health, that boost sperm count-“

Buck throws up his hands. “Woah, _woah_!!” He tips his head back against the couch, laughing. “Okay okay, I get it.” Maddie laughs along this time to, having some sympathy for her brother.

“I know it’s gonna happen. Maybe not tomorrow or even this month, but I’m gonna have a baby eventually. It’s what Chim and I want. It’s just gonna take some time.”

They sit in silence for a minute, sipping their drinks, enjoying the quiet of the home. If Buck really focuses, he can hear Chimney snoring already upstairs. Maddie props her head up on her hand, elbow resting on the top of the couch. She’s in full sister mode now, giving Buck on of her patented looks.

“So. Are you gonna tell me what happened with Eddie?” Buck sinks into the couch, taking a sip of tea. He tells Maddie everything, from the first date all the way to his panic attack in the middle of Eddie’s bedroom. Maddie listen thoughtfully, nodding along to his story.

Once Buck is done, Maddie brings her legs up, tucking them underneath herself. “Buck, do you think this all goes back to what happened with Abby?”

Buck rolls his eyes, knowing she’s right. “Maybe.” Maddie sighs and Buck relents.

“Okay, probably.Maddie...I loved her. I loved her so much. I know why she left, why she had to do it. I’m glad she’s happy. But I have a feeling that I’m always going to think her leaving was my fault.”

“Buck she left because her mother died. Because she didn’t have anything else left to give.” Buck can feel it, the tears pricking at the corners of his eyes for what feels like the 10th time that night. “I know she loved you too. I’m not excusing what she did to you, leaving you high and dry like that. But unless you let go, you’re never gonna be able to move on.”

“How did you learn to let go?”

“I’m not saying it doesn’t take time. It took me _a lot_ of time,Buck. But I did it for myself. Because I wasn’t going to let Doug take the rest of my life away from me. Things aren’t perfect because that’s not how life works.”

Maddie moves closer to Buck, looking him in the eyes as she grabs his hand in hers. “You and I are fighters, Evan. We’re Buckleys. If there’s anyone capable of picking themselves back up and showing the world who’s boss, it’s you and I.”

There’s tears flowing down his cheeks, but Buck finds himself smiling anyway. He loves his sister more than anything in the world, and moments like these remind him how lucky he is that after everything she went through, they’re back together again. He leans over and Maddie takes the cue, putting her back to the couch and letting him rest against her shoulder. He cries for another minute, but by the end it feels therapeutic.

Buck has a feeling he’s been holding all that in for a very long time. Once he feels like he’s caught his breath and is all cried out, he lifts away from Maddie.

“I really am sorry about the...ya know. _Sexus interruptus_.”

Maddie snorts, rolling her eyes.

“It’s fine. You can come over anytime you like. Having you back in my life has been one of the best things that could’ve happened to me.” She smiles wide as she gently knocks her brother in the shoulder. “Just, maybe call next time, okay?”

-  
  
Bobby is cleaning up from breakfast on Saturday, wiping down knives while Hen listens to Eddie lament about his dating life. It’s not the first time she’s had too and she’s sure it won’t be the last.

“-and I just don’t know Hen. He hasn’t called me or talked to me since.”

“Have you tried calling him?”

Eddie grits his teeth, fingers tapping the tabletop. “...No. No I have not.” Bobby just chuckles from his spot over at the sink.

“Is it too rhetorical to tell you what the problem with that is?”

“I know, I know, bu-”

The sound of someone coming up the steps grabs Eddie’s attention and his heart stops when he sees Buck, looking nervous as they lock eyes.

Eddie hadn’t realized how much he missed the sight of him. The glasses, the curly hair that no matter how much Buck patted it down, it never stayed put. He must have to go to the library after because he’s dressed for it, clad in a pair of jeans and a soft maroon sweater. Eddie’s heart thrums and he realizes he oughta say something as Hen and Bobby’s eyes go back and forth from him to Buck.

Since Eddie continues to say nothing, Hen motions Buck over.

“Hi! Are you lookin’ for somebody?”

Buck starts over cautiously, fingers wrapped tight around the tupperware in his hand that Eddie finally notices.

“I’m here to see Eddie actually.” He raises the container slightly. “I brought him a snack.”

Jesus Christ, they haven’t spoken to each other in 3 days and Buck still likes him enough to do that for him. Eddie doesn’t realize that he’s just been sitting and staring until Buck is practically in front of him. Hen nudges him in the shoulder.

“So. Eddie, since he knows who you are, would like to introduce us to him?”

Eddie finally shakes himself out of his stupor, blinking a few times at the man in front of him.

“Uh, Bobby, Hen. This is Buck. Buck, this is Hen and Bobby.”

Buck flashes one of his million dollar smiles at the two before returning his gaze to Eddie, sheepishly handing him the tupperware.

“I stayed at Maddie’s last night and we made muffins this morning. They’re chocolate chip.”

He gently takes the box, feeling incredibly grateful over such a simple gesture. “Thanks.”

Out of the corner of his eye he can see Bobby and Hen watching the two intently. Eddie sets the muffins down on the counter.

“Buck, can we talk um, somewhere else?”

They end up migrating to the other side of the room, the two men sitting on the couch. Eddie wishes they were closer, wishes they weren’t sitting an arms length apart. He finds that all he wants is to hold Buck, to apologize for everything that happened 3 days ago.

“Buck, I’m-”

“So here’s the thi-”

They both stare at each other and blink, not sure who should try to speak again first. Eddie is the first to break, letting out a cautious grin.

“You can go first.”

Buck takes a deep breath, gaze stuck to a section of the couch were he’s started to pick at the lint.

“When I got to LA, I started dating Abby. Abby was...my first real love I think. And she had spent _years_ taking care of her mother. A month or so into us dating, she passed away. Abby told me that she didn’t have anything left of herself to give. She was exhausted in every sense of the word, so she went off traveling. Wanted to go do all the things her mother never got the chance to do. As far as I know, she’s still doing it. And in my head, I know why she left. But my heart keeps telling me it was my fault.”

“Oh Buck, I’m so sorry.”

“And before her I was...I slept around a lot. I hurt a lot of people. Eddie, I really like you. So so much. I was worried I’d fuck it all up again. That’s why I ran.”

Eddie hates to see the sad look on his face, hates seeing him so broken up over something that wasn’t his fault.

“Buck, I really like you too. I haven’t felt like this about anyone in a long long time. You’re not gonna be able to get rid of me unless you ask me to. I want this with you.”

“Do you mean that?”

Eddie tries not to give Buck a look that says, _‘are you insane’_ , because he’s never meant anything more in his entire life.

“Of course I do.”

Buck lets out a shaky breath, like he’s been waiting holding it in since Wednesday night. After a moment, he shuffles around a bit on the couch, getting slightly closer to Eddie. He nods, giving him the floor.

Eddie rubs his thighs, his fingers scratching at the material nervously.

“I’m sorry if I pushed, I never wanted you to feel any pressure, especially with Christopher being in the mix. I’ve had people cut and run as soon as I even mentioned him. His mother...”

“She see’s Christopher sometimes right? I know you said she’s not really in the picture.”

“She lives about 20 minutes away. We were good parents just...not together. Trusting you, being with you like this, it scares the shit out of me. Letting you into Christopher’s life is something I never thought I’d want to do. When Shannon left us, it broke his heart. So I need to do whatever I can to protect him.”

Eddie sees a look of panic cross Buck’s face and he closes the rest of the distance between them on the couch, taking Buck’s hand in his. “Buck, I wanna try, I want to try my hardest because I think we’ve got IT. Whatever the ‘it’ is.”

Buck is smiling now, and Eddie is thinking that it’s one of his favorite things in the world to see.

The air feels clearer, Eddies chest feels lighter. Buck squeezes his hand tight.

Eddie thinks he might be in love. That isn’t something he’s going to say out loud, it’s too soon. But he’s about 90% sure Buck is the love of his life.

Little does he know, Buck is feeling the exact same way.

-

Lucky for them, Buck has plenty of time before his library shift. He sits with Eddie at the kitchen counter, chatting with Hen and Bobby, snacking on muffins. Buck finds that he really likes them. He can see that Eddie has a good support system. Hen tells him stories of some of their more ridiculous calls, along with a particularly entertaining one about a girl who got her head stuck in the tailpipe of a truck.

“And when I mean every girl there was trying to get into Eddie’s pants, I mean _every_ girl.” Buck laughs, squeezing Eddie’s hand where it rests on his leg out of view under the counter.

“Even the one who’s head had to get lubed out of a pipe?”

“ _Especially_ her.”

Buck really likes Hen. Likes her so much in fact that before he leaves he insists that she joins him and Eddie for dinner sometime, and that she should definitely bring her wife. Bobby shakes Bucks hand before he leaves, telling him he’s welcome back anytime.

Before they head down the steps, Eddie grabs Buck’s hand again. He walks him downstairs out to the entrance past the trucks. They’re standing there hand in hand when Buck pulls Eddie in close, holding both his hands now.

“Hey uhm, do you have any plans for Thanksgiving?”

Eddie’s a little taken aback by the question, since it’s still a few weeks away.

“Shannon is taking Chris to see her family in Texas, so they’ll be gone for a few days. Otherwise it’s just me. Bobby told me I could come celebrate with him and his wife and kids if I wanted to.”

Buck licks his lips, squeezing Eddie’s hands again. “Would you like to spend it with me? It’s nothing big. Maddie and I make all the food while Chim does his best not to burn mashed potatoes and then we watch ‘Year Without A Santa Claus’ at midnight.”

“Buck...that sounds perfect.”

The relief on Buck’s face is palpable, and Eddie really isn’t one for PDA, but he can’t resist leaning in and kissing Buck. Buck’s hands move to wrap around Eddie’s waist, and Eddie feels like he keeps repeating himself, but he _really_ missed Buck. 

Eddie can’t exactly pinpoint the moment he became a hopeless romantic, but he’s guessing it was when he laid eyes on Buck in that school library.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ITS THE END!!!! Thanks a million to everyone whos left a comment, a kudos, messaged me on tumblr, and everything in between! I'm so glad you guys ended up loving this fic as much as I did and I hope this ending is satisfying! I love this story so much and it's a little bittersweet to finish, but Im so happy you guys came on this journey with me and these sweet sweet boys. :,)

Thanksgiving day arrives much sooner than Eddie expects. He sees Christopher and Shannon off the night before, hugging them both before they go to check in for their flight. Eddie places a kiss on Christopher's cheek, surprised to see his son frowning when he pulls back.

“What’s wrong bud?”

“Are you sure you’re not gonna be lonely?” Eddie’s heart melts at his sons words, the kid who’s always worried about everyone else. He ruffles Christopher’s hair, which makes the boy smile.

“I’m sure. I’m gonna be with some very good people.”

The answer please Christopher enough to let go of his father, heading over to Shannon. She takes his hand, waving back at Eddie as the pair step through the sliding doors into the airport.

-

There’s a pit of anxiety resting in Eddie’s stomach as he drives over to Maddie’s the next afternoon, and it stays with him all the way to the front door as he rings the bell. He has a bottle of wine and a homemade pumpkin pie he spent all morning on. He’s suddenly very worried it’s not enough, that he should’ve brought more, he’s their guest dammit did he learn nothing from-

Maddie swings open the door, dressed in a comfortable sweater and jeans but somehow still managing to look like a model out of the Fall edition of Gap. Eddie smiles awkwardly, not sure how formal he should be. A hug? A handshake?

Maddie chooses for him, pulling him into a tight hug.

“So nice to _really_ meet you Eddie. Trust me, I didn’t want the grocery store to be our first encounter either.”

Eddie chuckles, agreeing with her and following her into the house. Chimney is already in the kitchen, gathering supplies from the cupboards. Flour, sugar, and spices line the counter next to the stove. Chimney comes over, giving Eddie a half hug, clapping him on the back.

“Happy Thanksgiving Eddie! Is that pie?!”

“Oh uh, yes. Pumpkin.” Chimney smiles, taking it from him and heading over to the fridge.

Eddie sets the wine down on the table as he glances around the kitchen, his boyfriend nowhere in sight. “Where’s Buck?” Maddie rolls her eyes, pointedly looking over at the clock on the kitchen wall.

“Running late as per usual.” She heads back towards the doorway of the kitchen, yelling into the hallway and up the stairs. “BUCK YOUR MAN IS HERE! GET DOWNSTAIRS!” 

An equally as exasperated response travels down the stairs, the sound of Buck’s annoyance making Eddie chuckle.

“ONE SECOND. I’M DRYING MY HAIR!”

Eddie glances over at Chim who’s trying to fit the pie into an empty spot in the fridge. “How long did he live with you guys?”

“Three months.”

The sound of pounding on the steps grabs Eddie’s attention, followed by the hushed whispers of Maddie and Buck bickering in the hallway.

Buck enters the kitchen, hair only partially dried, a damp curl still sticking to his forehead. Eddie wants to bury himself into the cardigan Buck is wearing and kiss him like there’s no tomorrow.

Buck comes over, wrapping him in a tight hug, his arm around Eddie’s waist.

“Happy Thanksgiving babe.”

“You too hun.” Buck’s hand comes up to Eddie’s chin, pulling him in for a chaste kiss.

Maddie clears her throat as she pulls an apron over her head. She already has two more in her hand, one for Buck and Eddie.

“Alright lover boys, this dinner isn’t gonna make itself. Eddie, how well can you dice vegetables?”

-

Dinner goes off without a hitch, and Eddie finds himself relaxing into the domesticity of it all very quickly. Chim doesn’t burn anything, the conversation is fun and light, and Eddie is happy to say he feels….right at home. Eddie helps Maddie clean up and wash dishes after. He’s a guest, he _insists_ , so Maddie tells him embarrassing Buck stories while they wash and dry the plates.

Later, while they all half pay attention to the football game, Maddie ups the ante and brings out a photo album from when they were kids. Eddie get’s eyefuls of baby Buck in different outfits, birthday parties with a face full of cake, and his personal favorite, toddler Buck with the largest head of curly blonde hair he’s ever seen.

“That was the summer he refused to get a haircut. He would burst into tears anytime our mom even mentioned the word ‘scissors’. So she just let him grow it out.”

Eddie is sitting on the couch next to Maddie and Chim. Buck is on the floor next to Eddie, propped up against his legs. He takes a sip of his wine, nudging Eddie’s shin with his hand.

“Maddie likes to tell that one because she’s still jealous I got our dad’s hair and she didn’t.”

Maddie purses her lips, head tilted at her brother. Her smile becomes wicked as she turns a few pages of the book. “You know what Eddie, I think it’s time for the baby bathtub pictures. And my mom, took _a lot_ of them.”

Eddie laughs as Buck groans, throwing his head back onto Eddie’s knees. Eddie leans forward more towards the coffee table to get a better look, hand hanging down in silent invitation.

Buck takes it, lacing their fingers together, and squeezing.

-

Eddie is leaving Maddie’s place that night when he tells Buck he loves him.

He’s said his goodbyes to Chimney and Maddie, thanking them for the food and drink and hospitality. Maddie hugs him tight, and tells him to come back anytime. It’s nice to know that she means it.

Buck walks Eddie out the front door, shutting it,leaving them standing on the porch together, alone. The night is chilly, but Eddie is thankful for the moment of alone time. Buck is standing there in front of him, looking as perfect as he always does, and Eddie just blurts it out.

“I love you.”

To his delight, Buck says it back.

Eddie pulls him in for a kiss, enjoying the feeling of Buck’s lips against his. It only lasts a second or two before Buck breaks out into a smile and he pulls back. His skin is flushed, and his smile grows even wider as he repeats himself.

“Eddie Diaz, I love you.”

“And I love you, Evan Buckley.”

-

It’s a week later when they sleep together for the first time. This time when Eddie lays Buck down in his bed, it feels right. Buck can feel it too, as if this was always how it was supposed to happen.

Buck laughs as Eddie peppers kisses all over his face, his beard tickling the skin. The love in Eddie’s eyes makes Buck’s heart clench in the best way possible.

This time when Eddie removes his glasses, he doesn’t feel vulnerable, he just feels bare. Bare and free in the best way possible.

Eddie makes sure to take care of Buck, to show him all he can give him and more. Now that they’ve said it before, the _‘I love you’s’_ spill out more and more, whispered into skin and gasped into shoulders. It feels like the easiest thing in the world.

Later that night, Eddie on his back with Buck curled around him, he runs a hand through Buck’s hair, enjoying the silence. Buck looks right, dozing there in Eddie’s arms, like it’s the spot he was always meant to fill.

He’s allowing himself to be taken over by his exhaustion when he casually thinks about what Buck is doing for Christmas.

-

As it turns out, Buck is busy Christmas day with Maddie, Chim and some of Chim’s extended family, but he’s completely free that night.

Like it always does, the Christmas season flies by in the Diaz household. Eddie is happy though that this time, the home is permanent. That him and Christopher can get a tree, and he can buy him gifts and do all the things Chris loves to do. When Buck starts spending more and more time with Eddie, and mentions how he wants to be able to share more in Christopher's life, Eddie decides it’s time to have a talk.

Turns out, Christopher is more observant than he looks.

“I saw you guys holding hands when he was here and then when you kissed on the porch.”

“How did you see that?”

“I snuck over to the window.”

Eddie would scold his son for snooping, except he’s almost a little proud of how sneaky he was and how neither he nor Buck noticed the young boy peeking out of the front window with wide eyes. Christopher says he’s excited to have Buck around more, and asks if he can come with them when he visits Santa in a week at the Grove.

Buck comes for that trip, and helps them pick out the tree, and stays for movie nights, and it’s so domestic it makes Eddie want to steal Buck away so he can never leave. He fits so seamlessly into their routines, being the foil to Eddie’s tough dad, ‘bad cop’ routine.

Buck slips an extra cookie to Christopher as they watch Polar Express, and sure Eddie notices, but he finds that he doesn’t care.

Eddie sinks deeper into the couch, Buck following him and getting himself comfortable under Eddie’s arm. Christopher is propped up on Buck’s legs, secretly trying to eat his cookie, giggling as he does so. It’s perfect. It’s so perfect, and Eddie finds that for the first time in a long time, he’s really, truly _happy_.

-

Buck is surprised to find that when January rolls around, it’s actually cold in LA. Cold enough that he has to shove his hands in his pockets and pull his coat around himself a little tighter.

He knocks on Maddie’s door, avoiding the wreath that still hangs on the front. It’s only the 3rd, and Maddie and Chim tended to leave their holiday decorations up for about another week or so.

Christmas with Eddie and Christopher had been amazing. Incredible, actually. Eddie told him no gift were necessary for either of them, but Buck really couldn’t help himself. For Eddie, a cast iron skillet, because he had used Maddie’s on Thanksgiving and just wouldn’t stop talking about how great it was and how you could practically make anything in it. It took everything in Buck’s control to not buy Christopher a bunch of things, so he settled for a small dinosaur excavation kit and his own hardcover copy of ‘James And The Giant Peach’.

Christopher passed out fairly early after dinner, curled up on the couch between Buck and Eddie. They had done Christmas with Shannon that morning, followed by a trip to Bobby and Athena’s where they were joined by Hen, Karen, and Denny. Eddie runs a hand softly through his son’s hair, unsurprised when he doesn’t even stir.

“It was a long Christmas for this guy. I think it was a pretty good one though.” Buck looks over at Eddie, and Buck loves the way Eddie’s eyes shine in the lights from the Christmas tree. He reaches his arm over the back of the couch, pleased when Eddie grabs his hand, placing a kiss on the back of it before linking their hands together.

Buck smiles, rubbing his thumb along Eddie’s. “Pretty good?”

Eddie matches Buck’s smile, his voice soft and full of warmth. “Yeah. Pretty good.”

-

Buck is sitting at the kitchen table with Maddie, steaming mugs in front of them. She had gotten a new teapot for Christmas, and was making Buck try her latest new bag of tea she had torn into. A cup of white chia sits in front of him as he finishes telling Maddie all about New Years Eve with Eddie. They had gone to a party at Hens, and when Eddie kissed him at midnight he tasted like champagne and chocolate and it was maybe the best way Buck has ever started off his year.

When he’s finished, Maddie bites her lip, clearly nervous. She takes a deep breath, putting her hand out on the table for Buck to take. He grabs it, his nerves on high alert.

Maddie uses her other hand to reach behind her back and putting a manilla envelope on the table. She pushes it towards her brother, eyes expectant.

“So. I have some news.”

His eyes widen as his brain is 10 steps ahead of him, his hand pulling out from under Maddie’s.  Buck can’t blame himself too much for his reaction, because whenever someone has shown him an envelope like that, it usually doesn’t mean good things.

“ _Oooh fuck_. Oh man. You and Chim are getting divorced.” Maddie’s face falls, her brow furrowing in confusion.

“What?”

“Christ, did he cheat on you? Do I have to kill him? I mean, Eddie was in the army we can definitely make him disap-”

“Buck, would you just stop being weird and open it please?”

Buck hesitantly takes the envelope, undoing the clasp and opening the flap. The glossy photo he pulls out reflects in the bright light of the kitchen. It’s black and white, and incredibly grainy. As Buck stares dumbfoundead, he realizes two things. One, he needed to apologize for offering to kill his brother in law. Two, if this is what he thinks it is, holy _shit._

Maddie takes pity on her brothers blank expression, her slight grin threatening to burst into a smile as she reaches over and points out a rounded section of white among the black.

“So, it’s a little hard to tell, but that’s the baby’s head.” Her fingers moves down to the right, tapping at the photo. “And here are the baby’s feet.”

Buck almost knocks over his chair as he jumps up, scooping Maddie into a tight hug. Her feet leave the floor as Buck swings her around the kitchen. Maddie laughs, arms stuck at her sides as Buck continues to do circles around the table.

“Put me down!! You’re gonna crush the picture!” Buck suddenly remembers the photo still clutched in his hand, setting Maddie down and putting it back on the table. His excitement is still overflowing, grabbing Maddie by the shoulders.

“You’re having a baby!” Buck leans back, looking at her stomach. “You’ve got one! In there!”

Maddie’s smile is wide enough to match her brothers now, nodding her head in agreement.

“Yes, yes I do!”

“Chimney did that! He put a bun in. That. Oven!!” Maddie smiles at her ridiculous brother, enjoying the look of joy on his face.

“Just don’t go around telling anyone at school! You can tell Eddie, but there’s still a lot of time left. I’ll have to put in time for maternity leave and the guest room is gonna have to become a nursery….there’s a lot to do.” Buck nods furiously, eyes already wandering back to the photo on the table.

“Yeah, yeah of course. Chim knows right?”

“Obviously. He was the first person I told. I’m surprised you didn’t notice when I didn’t have any wine on Thanksgiving.”

Buck thinks back to the night, to sitting next to Eddie at dinner, his heart beating a mile a minute as his brain shuffles through all the ways the night could go wrong. He won’t admit it, but he was a little too hyper-focused on everything else to notice Maddie’s lack of interest in the wine.

He shuffles forward, wrapping Maddie back up in his arms. She melts into the hug, her arms doing their best to wrap themselves around Buck’s broad middle.

They stay like that for a few moments, both of them thinking it but not saying it. They never thought they’d get to see this milestone together. But here they are, standing in Maddie’s home, both of them healthy and happy and together again, like they should be. The Buckley siblings; inseparable.

Buck takes a deep breath, chuckling slightly as an idea pops into his head. Maddie is muffled by his sweater as she speaks. “What is it?”

“Nothing it’s just….you’re gonna be _huge_.”

-

“So, you’re gonna be an uncle. How do you feel?”

Eddie and Buck are sitting at an italian place downtown, a quaint hole in the wall with excellent food and cheap wine. Buck is still beaming over the news from Maddie, his cheeks glowing with excitement.

“Fucking amazing, honestly.”

“When is she due?”

“Sometime in July. I can’t wait to see if it’s a boy or a girl. God, Maddie really deserves this.”

They keep digging into their meals, talking about nonsense. Buck thinks that he could listen to Eddie talk for hours about pretty much anything. The rumble of his voice, his warm eyes. Eddie could talk about fire truck repair and Buck could probably think it’s the most interesting thing in the world.

They’ve decided to spoil themselves, chowing down on a shared piece of chocolate cake at the end of the night. Buck is stealing the last few pieces at Eddie’s insistence when he reaches into his coat pocket. He produces a box, small, but much too large for a ring, which truthfully is the first thing Buck thinks about.

Eddie notices his panic, holding up a hand in defense.

“Don’t worry, it’s nothing crazy. I’m just…” Eddie looks away for a moment, resting his chin in his hand as he searches for his words. Buck has forgotten the cake now completely, sitting tense in his chair. “Buck, life is short. I come to terms with that everyday. And I’ve spent so much of my life being scared, of making sure to do everything right. So I’m doing this as a guy who wants to take a chance for once.”

Eddie pushes the box towards Buck, who takes it cautiously. There’s no markings, a simple box made of cardboard. Buck clears his throat, lifting the lid up and off.

Inside is 2 keys attached to a loop ring, along with a braided keychain made of colored string and beads. Buck slowly takes them out of the box, worried if he moves too fast then he’ll wake up from whatever dream he surely must be in.

“Eddie these are-”

“House keys.

As soon as Eddie confirms it, Buck’s heart stops. House keys. Keys to Eddie’s home. Eddie’s home with Christopher.

Eddie wants him there, in _their_ life.

Buck is silent as he runs his fingers down the keychain, feeling the lumps in the string where it got knotted. Eddie gives him a soft smile, eyes going to the keychain as well.

“That was Christopher. He said the keys needed something to make them special.”

“Christopher....he’s okay with this?”

“Of course. I talked to him about it after you left on Sunday. He seemed very excited.” Buck lets out a shaky breath, his eyes already watering. “I think he’s just happy to have a librarian in the house now, he told me he wants you to help him organize his bookshelf.”

Buck is crying as he turns the key over and over in his hand. He hiccups, laughing at himself as he looks at Eddie. “What about taking it slow?”

“Now we’ve never been very good at that, have we?”

Buck laughs again, the tears flowing more freely now, and he swears he isn’t a crier, but Eddie just brings out that side of him.

After a moment or two, Buck realizes he still hasn’t given an answer to the unspoken question. Eddie is looking at him expectantly, wringing his hands together under the table.

Buck gets up out of his seat, and for a second Eddie looks worried like he’s gone too far, like he’s pushed too much again.

Buck just makes his way to the other side of the table, leaning down and grabbing Eddie’s face in his hands. He knows the keys must be digging into the side of Eddie’s head, but he doesn’t think either of them care.

Buck kisses him, and it’s magical and amazing and he could care less that there are other people in this restraunt cause _honestly_ , they can mind their own damn business.

When he pulls back, Eddie’s cheeks are wet too. He rests his forehead against Eddie’s breathing out deeply, giggling as he does. Buck is clutching Eddie’s head still, the keys also in his palm, and it feels like all at once his whole world is in his hands.

“Eddie Diaz, I _will_ move in with you.”

Eddie lets out a breath of relief, smiling at Buck.

“After that kind of kiss, I was hoping you would.”

-

They pay their bill as fast as they can, trying their best not to run into anyone as they rush out of the restaurant into the chilly winter night. The heat from the restaurant and the cold outside make Buck’s glasses fog up for a second and Eddie laughs as Buck removes them to wipe them off. He puts them back on, looking at Eddie like he’s the only one on the street that night. Eddie takes a look around the busy street, full of other couples and families enjoying dinners and shows.

He looks at Buck, nodding his head towards the street. “Where do you want to go next?”

Buck gnaws at the inside of his cheek for a moment, considering. They had planned to go see a movie after dinner, but now, Buck really isn’t feeling it.

Truthfully, all he wants to do is go and be with the man he loves. This wonderful, brave, strong, brilliant man that loves him back just the same.

Buck grabs Eddie’s hand, interlacing their fingers.

“Home.”

Eddie smiles at him, eyes sparkling under the lights of the city.

“Alright then. Let’s go home.”


End file.
